A STANFORD DEAN ON ADULT
SKILLS EVERY 18-YEAR-OLD SHOULD HAVE
1. An 18-year-old must be
able to talk to strangers
Faculty, deans,
advisers, landlords, store clerks, human resource managers, coworkers, bank
tellers, health care providers, bus drivers, mechanics—in the real world.
The
crutch: We teach kids not to talk to strangers instead of teaching the more
nuanced skill of how to discern the few bad strangers from the mostly good
ones. Thus, kids end up not knowing how to approach strangers—respectfully and
with eye contact—for the help, guidance, and direction they will need out in
the world.
2.
An 18-year-old must be able to find his or her way around
A campus, the town in
which her summer internship is located, or the city where he is working or studying
abroad.
The crutch: We drive
or accompany our children everywhere, even when a bus, their bicycle, or their
own feet could get them there; thus, kids don’t know the route for getting from
here to there, how to cope with transportation options and snafus, when and how
to fill the car with gas, or how to make and execute transportation plans.
3.
An 18-year-old must be able to manage his assignments, workload, and deadlines
The
crutch: We remind kids when their homework is due and when to do it—sometimes
helping them do it, sometimes doing it for them; thus, kids don’t know how to
prioritize tasks, manage workload, or meet deadlines, without regular
reminders.
4.
An 18-year-old must be able to contribute to the running of a house hold
The crutch: We don’t
ask them to help much around the house because the checklisted childhood leaves
little time in the day for anything aside from academic and extracurricular
work; thus, kids don’t know how to look after their own needs, respect the
needs of others, or do their fair share for the good of the whole.
5.
An 18-year-old must be able to handle interpersonal problems
The crutch: We step in
to solve misunderstandings and soothe hurt feelings for them; thus, kids don’t
know how to cope with and resolve conflicts without our intervention.
6.
An 18-year-old must be able to cope with ups and downs
Courses and workloads,
college-level work, competition, tough teachers, bosses, and others.
The crutch: We step in
when things get hard, finish the task, extend the deadline, and talk to the
adults; thus, kids don’t know that in the normal course of life things won’t
always go their way, and that they’ll be okay regardless.
7.
An 18-year-old must be able to earn and manage money
The crutch: They don’t
hold part-time jobs; they receive money from us for whatever they want or need;
thus, kids don’t develop a sense of responsibility for completing job tasks,
accountability to a boss who doesn’t inherently love them, or an appreciation
for the cost of things and how to manage money.
8.
An 18-year-old must be able to take risks
The crutch: We’ve laid
out their entire path for them and have avoided all pitfalls or prevented all
stumbles for them; thus, kids don’t develop the wise understanding that success
comes only after trying and failing and trying again (a.k.a. “grit”) or the
thick skin (a.k.a. “resilience”) that comes from coping when things have gone
wrong.
Remember: Our kids
must be able to do all of these things without resorting to calling a parent on
the phone. If they’re calling us to ask how, they do not have the life skill.
Taken from: http://qz.com/644491/a-stanford-dean-on-adult-skills-every-18-year-old-should-have/
