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Monday,
December 14
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Tuesday, December 15
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Wednesday, December 16
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8:00 – 10:00
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Math
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Spanish
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Science
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BREAK
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BREAK
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BREAK
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10:30 – 12:30
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Language
Arts
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Social
Studies
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Monday, December 14, 2015
DECEMBER 14 - 16
FOR GRADES 9 - 12 ONLY:
Monday, December 7, 2015
DECEMBER 7 - 11
10 TIPS TO INCREASE SELF
CONFIDENCE IN TEENAGERS
Teenage is like a
twilight zone, because your darling now is neither a child nor an adult. Most
teenagers are confused, insecure and conscious about themselves during their
teens.
What should be done to help teenagers in such a crucial
phase?
As a parent, you are the
one, who can tremendously help increase your teenager’s self confidence. How
you mould your teenager today will decide the course of his or her life
tomorrow. It is, therefore, extremely important to build a positive self esteem
in your teenager.
What
Is Self Confidence?
It is no secret that
self confidence proves to be the most important key to one’s success in life.
Self confidence is how one feels about himself or herself.
It affects the way one
acts in public.
Also it clearly reflects
the way one conducts himself or herself.
A healthy sense of one’s
self plays a crucial role in forming one’s overall personality.
A positive development
of one’s self confidence directly affects one’s happiness quotient.
Why
Is Self Confidence Necessary In Teenagers?
Self confidence gives a
teenager the ability to face life, its challenges, uncertainty and even tackle
disappointments, ups and downs of life better.
Relations, emotions,
peer pressure, competition and expectations, together these things can play
havoc on a teenager’s self confidence.
A positive self esteem
can help a teenager go out and conquer his or her aims and goals in life.
It helps him build
better bonds, relations and be a happy and mentally strong person.
Parents’
Role In Increasing Teenagers’ Self Confidence:
Of all people, parents
are the most important when it comes to building self confidence in teenagers.
Your support in building confidence in teens can go a long way in molding his
personality.
Your actions and words
impact your teenager the most.
How you feel about them
and how you make them feel about themselves directly affects their level of
self confidence.
The way you treat them
also sets a benchmark about how others should treat your teenager.
10
Tips On How To Increase Self Confidence In Teenagers:
Teenage is where a child
is molded into an adult. It is such a sensitive process that only the parents
have the tools (such as patience and courage!) to do it. Here are some of the
easiest and useful tips on increasing your teenager’s self confidence.
1. Show
Respect:
Do not forget – your
teenager is not a child anymore and is a near-adult, and as such, deserves
respect just like any other adult.
When you address your
teenager, always show respect. Do not let disdain or contempt show in your
tone!
Always treat their
problems and fears with importance. Never shun off your teenager’s fears as a
childhood worry.
2. Praise
Often:
You must praise your
teenager often. Be generous with your compliments.
When you praise your
teenager for something good they did, it boosts their confidence in heaps and
bounds. It encourages them to do even better next time.
Always express yourself
and let them know how good and proud you feel to have them as your kid.
3. Avoid
Criticism:
Try and avoid
criticizing as much as you can. Criticism can be detrimental for your
teenager’s self confidence.
If you disapprove or
dislike something that involves your teen, take time to sit with them and talk
it out.
Teenagers often take
criticism as ridicule or shame. At times, when criticism is unavoidable, watch
your tone.
4.
Encourage Extra Curricular Activities:
Let your teenager follow
his hobbies.
Encourage him to
participate in more and more activities. It is important for your teenager to
excel at anything he likes and enjoys.
Extracurricular
activities prove to be great opportunities for learning about success, failure,
challenges and they add a great deal to your teenager’s confidence.
These activities build a
positive team spirit in your teenager and help him learn about working together
towards a common goal.
5.
Support Optimistic Friendships:
We know you cannot
possibly control, pick and choose the kind of friends your teenager will make.
Teach him about respect and acceptance.
Mutual understanding and
respect in any relation is important. Teach him that value is what matters
between friends.
The kind of friends your
teenager makes also affects his self confidence. Teach him ways to
differentiate between good and fair weather friends.
6.
Looks Do Not Matter:
Most teenagers fall
under peer pressure. To them looks matter a lot. They crave to look like models
and celebs and inability to do so affects their self confidence immensely.
It is important to sit
and explain to your teenager that looks do not matter.
What matters is good
manners, hygiene, healthy mind and body.
7. Focus
On Strengths:
Teach your teenager that
he should focus more on strengths. Never compare your teenager to his peers,
friends, siblings and cousins.
Your teen should realize
how different people have different strengths. Comparison creates rivalry.
Make your teenager
understand that his only competition is with himself. And the best way to do
even better is to focus on strengths.
8. Teach
Them To Be Stronger :
Teach your teenager to
build some tolerance level towards teasing or heckling. Teasing affects every
teenager’s self confidence.
A good rule in life is
grin and bears it. Your teenager must learn to tolerate negative emotions to some
extent, without losing his cool
Your teenager must know
that teasing cannot hurt and it should in no way affect his self confidence.
9. Look
For Professional Help:
If your teenager suffers
from severe lack of confidence and it is starting to affect his academic and/or
social life, you may need help from external sources.
Initially, you can try
for family counseling with your teen’s favorite relatives.
If the above does not
work, it is best to seek professional help, which might uncover the real issue
behind this lacking and help your teenager come out of it.
10. Be
Your Teenager’s Support:
You probably don’t even
realize how small gestures and the little things you say and do in regular life
boosts your teenager’s self confidence. Your teenager must know that you are
always there for him, no matter what.
Your support can act as
a catalyst as far as your teenager’s self confidence is concerned.
The moment your teenager
knows he has someone to rely on, to fall back upon; he can face his life with
even more confidence and strength.
Deal every difficulty
politely and positively when it comes to your teenager. Remember, this is just
a phase and it shall pass on soon.
Teenage issues and angst
are a part of your teenager’s growing up process. So be patient and help your
teenager.
Taken from: http://www.momjunction.com/articles/tips-to-increase-self-confidence-in-teenagers_0081604/
Monday, November 30, 2015
NOVEMBER 30 - DECEMBER 4
SCIENCE SAYS PARENTS OF
SUCCESSFUL KIDS HAVE THESE 11 THINGS IN COMMON
Any good parent wants their kids to
stay out of trouble, do well in school, and go on to do awesome things as
adults.
And while there
isn't a set recipe for raising successful children, psychology research has
pointed to a handful of factors that predict success. Unsurprisingly,
much of it comes down to the parents.
Here's
what parents of successful kids have in common:
1. They make their kids do
chores.
"If kids aren't doing the dishes,
it means someone else is doing that for them," Julie Lythcott-Haims,
former dean of freshmen at Stanford University and author of "How to Raise an Adult" said
during aTED Talks Live event.
"And so they're absolved of not
only the work, but of learning that work has to be done and that each one of us
must contribute for the betterment of the whole," she said.
Lythcott-Haims believes kids raised
on chores go on to become employees who collaborate well with their coworkers,
are more empathetic because they know firsthand what struggling looks like, and
are able to take on tasks independently.
She bases this on the Harvard Grant
Study, the longest longitudinal study ever conducted.
"By making them do chores — taking
out the garbage, doing their own laundry — they realize I have to do the work of life in
order to be part of life," she tells Tech Insider.
2. They teach their kids social
skills.
Researchers from Pennsylvania State
University and Duke University tracked more than 700 children from across the
US between kindergarten and age 25 and found a significant correlation between their social
skills as kindergartners and their success as adults two decades later.
The 20-year study showed that socially
competent children who could cooperate with their peers without prompting, be
helpful to others, understand their feelings, and resolve problems on their
own, were far more likely to earn a college degree and have a full-time job by
age 25 than those with limited social skills.
Those with limited social skills also
had a higher chance of getting arrested, binge drinking, and applying for
public housing.
"This study shows that helping
children develop social and emotional skills is one of the most important
things we can do to prepare them for a healthy future," said Kristin Schubert, program director at the Robert Wood
Johnson Foundation, which funded the research, in a release.
"From an early age, these skills
can determine whether a child goes to college or prison, and whether they end
up employed or addicted."
3. They have high expectations.
Using data from a national survey of
6,600 children born in 2001, University of California at Los Angeles
professor Neal Halfon and his colleagues discovered that the expectations parents hold for
their kids have a huge effect on attainment.
"Parents who saw college in their
child's future seemed to manage their child toward that goal irrespective of
their income and other assets," he said in a statement.
The finding came out in standardized
tests: 57% of the kids who did the worst were expected to attend college by
their parents, while 96% of the kids who did the best were expected to go to
college.
This falls in line with another psych
finding: The Pygmalion effect, which states
"that what one person expects of another can come to serve as a
self-fulfilling prophecy."
In the case of kids, they live up to
their parents' expectations.
4. They have healthy
relationships with each other.
Children in high-conflict families,
whether intact or divorced, tend to fare worse than children of parents that
get along, according to a University of Illinois study review.
Robert Hughes Jr., professor and head of
the Department of Human and Community Development at the University of Illinois
and the study review author, also notes that some studies have
found children in non conflictual single-parent families fare better
than children in conflictual two-parent families.
The conflict between parents prior to
divorce also affects children negatively, while post-divorce conflict
has a strong influence on children's adjustment, Hughes says.
One study found that, after
divorce, when a father without custody has frequent contact with his kids
and there is minimal conflict, children fare better. But when there is
conflict, frequent visits from the father are related to poorer adjustment of
children.
Yet another study found that
20-somethings who experienced divorce of their parents as children still report
pain and distress over their parent's divorce ten years later. Young
people who reported high conflict between their parents were far more
likely to have feelings of loss and regret.
5. They've attained higher
educational levels.
A 2014 study lead by University of Michigan
psychologist Sandra Tang found that mothers who finished high school or college
were more likely to raise kids that did the same.
Pulling from a group of over 14,000
children who entered kindergarten from 1998 to 2007, the study found that
children born to teen moms (18 years old or younger) were less likely to finish
high school or go to college than their counterparts.
Aspiration is at least partially
responsible. In a 2009 longitudinal study of 856
people in semirural New York, Bowling Green State University psychologist Eric
Dubow found that "parents' educational level when the child was 8 years
old significantly predicted educational and occupational success for the child
40 years later."
6. They teach their kids
math early on.
A 2007 meta-analysisof 35,000
preschoolers across the US, Canada, and England found that developing math
skills early can turn into a huge advantage.
"The paramount importance of early
math skills — of beginning school with a knowledge of numbers, number order,
and other rudimentary math concepts — is one of the puzzles coming out of the
study," coauthor and
Northwestern University researcher Greg Duncan said in a press release. "Mastery of early math skills
predicts not only future math achievement; it also predicts future reading
achievement."
7. They develop a relationship
with their kids.
A 2014 study of 243 people born into poverty found
that children who received "sensitive caregiving" in their first
three years not only did better in academic tests in childhood, but had
healthier relationships and greater academic attainment in their 30s.
As reported on PsyBlog,
parents who are sensitive caregivers "respond to their child's signals
promptly and appropriately" and "provide a secure base" for
children to explore the world.
"This suggests that investments in
early parent-child relationships may result in long-term returns that
accumulate across individuals' lives," coauthor and University of
Minnesota psychologist Lee Raby said in an interview.
8. They're less stressed.
According to recent research cited
by Brigid Schulte at The Washington Post, the
number of hours that moms spend with kids between ages 3 and 11 does little to
predict the child's behavior, well-being, or achievement.
What's more, the "intensive
mothering" or "helicopter parenting" approach can
backfire.
"Mothers' stress, especially when
mothers are stressed because of the juggling with work and trying to find time
with kids, that may actually be affecting their kids poorly," study
coauthor and Bowling Green State University sociologist Kei Nomaguchi told The
Post.
Emotional contagion —
or the psychological phenomenon where people "catch" feelings
from one another like they would a cold — helps explain why. Research shows
that if your friend is happy, that brightness will infect you; if she's sad,
that gloominess will transfer as well. So if a parent is exhausted or
frustrated, that emotional state could transfer to the kids.
9. They value effort over
avoiding failure.
Where kids think success comes from also
predicts their attainment.
Over decades, Stanford University
psychologist Carol Dweck has discovered that children (and adults) think about
success in one of two ways. Over at the always-fantastic Brain
Pickings, Maria Popova says they go a little something like
this:
A "fixed mindset"
assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static
givens that we can't change in any meaningful way, and success is the affirmation
of that inherent intelligence, an assessment of how those givens measure up
against an equally fixed standard; striving for success and avoiding failure at
all costs become a way of maintaining the sense of being smart or skilled.
A "growth mindset,"
on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of
un-intelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching
our existing abilities.
At the core is a distinction in the way
you assume your will affects your ability, and it has a powerful effect on
kids. If kids are told that they aced a test because of their innate intelligence
that creates a "fixed" mindset. If they succeeded because of
effort, that teaches a "growth" mindset.
10. The moms work.
According to research out of Harvard Business School,
there are significant benefits for children growing up with mothers who work
outside the home.
The study found daughters of working
mothers went to school longer, were more likely to have a job in a supervisory
role, and earned more money — 23% more compared to their peers who were
raised by stay-at-home mothers.
The sons of working mothers also tended
to pitch in more on household chores and childcare, the study found — they
spent seven-and-a-half more hours a week on childcare and 25 more minutes on
housework.
"Role modeling is a way of
signaling what's appropriate in terms of how you behave, what you do, the
activities you engage in, and what you believe," the study's lead author,
Harvard Business School professor Kathleen L. McGinn, told Business Insider.
"There are very few things that we
know of, that have such a clear effect on gender inequality as being raised by
a working mother," she
told Working Knowledge.
11. They have a higher
socioeconomic status.
Tragically, one-fifth of American children
grow up in poverty, a situation that severely limits their
potential.
It's getting more extreme. According to Stanford University
researcher Sean Reardon, the achievement gap between high- and
low-income families "is roughly 30% to 40% larger among children born in
2001 than among those born 25 years earlier."
As "Drive" author
Dan Pink has noted, the higher
the income for the parents, the higher the SAT scores for the kids.
"Absent comprehensive and expensive
interventions, socioeconomic status is what drives much of educational
attainment and performance” he wrote.
Monday, November 23, 2015
NOVEMBER 23 - 27
THE 6 BEST THINGS ABOUT
TWEENS
Why you shouldn't dread the tween years, and how
you can enjoy them the most
By
Charlotte Latvala
When my
kids were younger, friends with tweens gave me dire warnings: "It's a
whole new world -- much worse than the terrible twos." "You won't
believe the change in your kid -- like night and day." "Just wait
until they hit middle school; brace yourself."
Now my
older kids (A.J., 11, and Mathilda, 14) have reached the dreaded tween/teen
stage. And guess what? I'm still waiting for doomsday to strike. Don't get me
wrong; we've had a few bumps. But there's more to tweens than hormone surges
and moodiness. In many ways, these crazy years are my favorite phase yet. This
is why:
The Good News: You Have a New Buddy
Yes, I
know, your job description doesn't read: "My Kid's Best Friend." And,
no, you're not equals. But the tween years provide endless opportunities to
bond on a deeper level than you did when your child was little. I can take
Mathilda or A.J. out to lunch and have a completely different experience from a
few years ago, when a trip to a restaurant meant watching them color the kids'
menu and knock over their milk. Now we discuss everything from their
friendships to current movies to politics. (And if they have to go to the
bathroom, they find it on their own.)
Sharon
Pomerantz Strelzer recently experienced an unexpected buddy moment with her
10-year-old daughter, Samantha. "We had a rainy movie day, just the two of
us, and the choices were to see either Pink Panther 2 or Confessions
of a Shopaholic," says the Fairfield, CT, mom. "Samantha said,
'Let's save the Pink Panther for Daddy and have a girls' day
out!'" The two happily watched Shopaholic together.
Make It Even Better
You've got
to shift gears during the tween phase, says Susan Kuczmarski, Ed.D., author of The
Sacred Flight of the Teenager: A Parent's Guide to Stepping Back and Letting Go.
"Enjoy the changes and be aware that she is entering a new phase -- don't
expect the same old behavior."
The Good News: You're Past the Do-Everything Stage
I recently
realized I hadn't washed anyone's hair but my own for ages. (Mathilda has taken
over giving baths to my youngest child, 5-year-old Mary Elena.) When the tween
years come around, it's exhilarating to be free of the drudgery that comes with
parenting small children: wiping bottoms, pouring juice, tying shoes. Not only
that, but tweens can actually help around the house in meaningful ways, like
emptying the dishwasher and taking out garbage. "It's simply less
physically exhausting to be the parent of a tween," says Jen Singer of
Kinnelon, NJ, the creator of Mommasaid.net, a parenting humor and advice website, and mom of Nicholas, 12, and
Christopher, 11. "My kids make their own lunches and their own beds.
They're self-cleaning. When we go skiing, I don't have to run down the slope
holding them in a harness. The day-to-day stuff is much easier."
Make It Even Better
Celebrate
each new task your kids can do, and get over any guilt you have that you're
slacking off by letting them take on more, says educator Annie Fox, author of
the Middle School Confidential series. "Some parents mistakenly
equate dependence with love," she says. "They feel that 'if he
doesn't need me, he doesn't love me.' But do you really want to be cutting your
kid's sandwiches when he's thirty?" Encourage independence by giving
tweens more complex home projects once in a while. Athena Marsh of Sewickley,
PA, expects her sons (Roy, 14, Jay, 11, and Theo, 9) to do laundry and feed the
cats, but sometimes asks them to try something a little challenging. "Last
year I had Roy put a new handle on the toilet," she says. "He did it
all by himself, just following the insert for directions. He was surprised --
and very pleased -- he could do it."
The Good News: He Gets the Jokes
Your tween
will love sharing a whole new level of wit -- puns, wordplay, sarcasm.
Breakfast at Singer's home sometimes feels like open-mic night at a comedy
club. "The other day, my eleven-year-old asked for an omelette, and I
misheard him; for whatever reason, I thought he said 'Obama-lette,'" says
Singer. "So I turned around and said, 'What is that -- filled with hope?'
We all cracked up. A few years earlier, it would have been me laughing by
myself."
Make It
Even Better
Laugh along
with your tween; some of the sweetest bonding times come from sharing inside
jokes and offbeat references. In our house, A.J. does spot-on impersonations of
characters from The Simpsons. His Marge, Mr. Burns, and Krusty the
Clown bring the house down, and sometimes I find myself saying,
"Excellent!" to them in a decidedly Mr. Burns-ish voice.
This is a
good time to expose kids to more grown-up movies and books, both current and
classic. Of course, how far you want to go is a personal decision (our family
is most comfortable in the barely PG-13 world). Recently I've introduced my
kids to some of my old favorites (Monty Python, SCTV, and
Peter Sellers in The Mouse That Roared). They're constantly quoting
from them -- it's like having our own secret language of humor.
The Good News: She's Interesting
Tweens
develop passions and hobbies, whether it's basketball, Wii games, or musical
theater. When Mathilda saw The Lord of the Rings movies, she
became interested in sword fighting. We finally let her sign up for fencing
lessons with a friend, and now she's an expert on the difference between a foil
and an epee. Half the time I have no idea what she's talking about, but her
enthusiasm is contagious. And taking an active interest in your child's sport
or hobby is good for her, too, says Fox. She gets to be the teacher, which is a
major confidence booster.
Make it Even Better
Find a
hobby you can pursue together. Marsh's son Jay is a food buff, so they often
cook dinner as a team. Jamie Woolf of Oakland recently started a
mother-daughter book club with her kids, Anna, 14, and Leah, 10. "We
really connect over the young-adult books we're reading," says Woolf,
author of Mom-in-Chief: How Wisdom From the Workplace Can Save Your
Family From Chaos. "It's allowed me to see a glimpse of middle school
culture -- crushes, cliques, and so on."
The Good News: His Friends are Hysterical
Sure, a
group of tweens can get loud and squirrelly, but you're privy to some of the
most off-the-wall conversations ever. From listening to my son and his
fifth-grade buddies, I have a fairly good understanding of the 11-year-old male
mind. (Obsessive collecting -- video games, Bakugan, songs from iTunes -- is
the norm, and no one else's parents have as many rules as your own.) Carpooling
with tweens is a world unto itself: When Singer hauls 11-year-old Christopher
and his buddies to soccer practice, she usually cranks up the radio and listens
to the kids belt it out. "Last time, we all ended up singing Coldplay
together at the top of our lungs," she says.
Make It Even Better
"Offer
your house as a gathering spot for your tween and his friends, or be the mom
who drives everyone to the mall," Woolf advises. "Taking advantage of
their need for a ride is the best way to get to know their friends." Woolf
has even brought her girls' pals on vacation. "You get a very real sense
of who they're friends with and what they're up to."
The Good News: She Wants to Help
When tweens
take on a project -- whether it's cleaning up a local park or volunteering at
a food bank -- it's all or nothing. Maureen Pearson was surprised but thrilled
when her 11-year-old daughter, Laura, asked to volunteer at the retirement
community where Maureen works. "She really clicked with the
residents," says the Harrisonburg, VA, mom. "On her first day, she
bounced into my office and exclaimed, 'I met a woman who was a hundred years
old!'" Lately Laura has also begun babysitting in her church nursery.
"She's all about being helpful," says Pearson.
Make it Even Better
Let them
know how proud you are of their kindness and generosity, and do everything in
your power to help them act on it. I recently took my kids through an exhibit
on the AIDS epidemic in Africa. We all were blown away by the stories of
suffering kids and the photos of children who are available to sponsor.
"We have to take on one of these kids," said Mathilda, grabbing my arm.
"It's only thirty-five dollars a month." My initial, knee-jerk
reaction ("Do we have an extra thirty-five bucks in the monthly
budget?") paled next to her enthusiasm. How could I say no?
Don't
forget the power of your example, adds Fox: "If your objective is to raise
a good citizen, you have to show what that means," she says. "Make it
your business to be involved, and your kid will get involved." Look for
family opportunities for volunteerism; the more time you spend with your tween,
the happier everyone will be. And that's not terrible at all.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
NOVEMBER 16 - 20
How
to Help Your Kids Have a Healthy Relationship with Technology
Don't give up the fight for conversation
In her latest book, author, technology
critic, and clinical psychologist Sherry Turkle tears our preferred modes of
communication a new one. The central argument of Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk In A Digital Age is that the
easy, streamlined, emotionally risk-free technologies that entertain and keep
people “in touch” without human interaction have diminished our capacity for
empathy and self-reflection. Turkle is not just your gouchy friend from high
school who won’t use Facebook because she’s “old school,” either. Her thesis is
thoroughly researched and supported by legit academic studies suggesting not
only that our smart phones are turning us into a——-; they are also making us
less happy.
Turkle looks at how the
unintended consequences of constant connectivity with little human connection
have sullied our interactions in the areas of work, school, and our
communities; and have removed opportunities for therapeutic solitude. But no
aspect of the emotional distance and dissatisfaction wrought by the lure of
social media and digital communication is as bleak as Turkle’s assessment of
how our lack of conversation has impacted family life. To add insult to injury,
she doesn’t even blame the Kids These Days. She blames the parents.
Fortunately, she has a couple of very simple solutions for how to break the
cycle. (They just happen to be gut-wrenchingly difficult to implement.)
How Technology Is
Screwing Up Our Kids
Computers simulate
human interaction; but they can’t replace it. The predictability and
“friction-free” nature of virtual worlds is compelling to children, but it
doesn’t teach them about relationships — conversations do.
·
“Children need to learn what complex
human feelings and human ambivalence look like,” Turkle writes. “And they need
other people to respond to their own expressions of that complexity. These are
the most precious things that people give to children in conversation as they
grow up.”
·
Children need to learn, through
conversations with their parents, the difference between a problem and a
catastrophe. Parental attention to the small ups and downs of childhood “helps
children learn what is and is not an emergency and what children can handle on
their own,” Turkle writes. “Parental inattention can mean that, to a child,
everything feels urgent.”
·
In interview after interview, Turkle
found that kids longed for more conversations with not only their parents, but
also their peers. Their parents and peers were distracted by electronic
devices, so these disappointed kids turned to their own screens for
stimulation.
What You Can Do With
This
·
Take the “Talking Cure.” Talk to
your kids, even if they are pre-verbal. From Turkle’s book: “…instead of doing
your email as you push your daughter in her stroller, talk to her. Instead of
putting a digital tablet in your son’s baby bouncer, read to him and chat about
the book.”
·
As your kids get older, make family
conversations a regular part of every day. If you think back, this is probably
what you originally envisioned when you bought that dinner table.
Boredom Is a Crucial
Ingredient of Childhood
With all the
connected devices available to our kids (and ourselves), there is no reason to
experience “downtime.” We whip out our phones during any lull in activity, and
therefore teach our kids to do the same. But we are robbing them of
opportunities for flights of imagination and development of their sense of
self.
·
Psychoanalyst Erik Erikson posits
that “children thrive when they are given time and stillness.” The “shiny
objects,” as Turkle calls technological distractors, interrupt that stillness.
·
“When children grow up with time
alone with their thoughts, they feel a certain ground under their feet,” Turkle
writes. “Their imaginations bring them comfort. If children always have
something outside of themselves to respond to, they don’t build up this
resource.” What they build up instead? Anxiety. Lot and lots of anxiety.
·
According to neuroscience research,
“it is only when we are alone with our thoughts — not reacting to external
stimuli — that we engage that part of the brain’s basic infrastructure devoted
to building up a sense of our stable autobiographical past.” In other words, we
figure out who we are. Turkle compares this process to its digital equivalent:
creating online profiles that make us look cool and successful.
What You Can Do With
This
·
Instead of screen-based play, get
your kid involved with manipulating physical objects. “Whereas screen activity
tends to rev kids up, the concrete worlds of modeling clay, finger paints, and
building blocks slow them down,” Turkle writes. “The physicality of these
materials … offers a very real resistance that gives children time to think, to
use their imaginations, to make up their own worlds.”
·
Establish a screen time policy for
your kids and stick to it. While you’re at it, establish one for yourself.
Consider sending your kid to a device-free summer camp.
·
Go outside.
Parents Are the Worst
Whereas most screeds against the
scourge of digital technology focus on “those d— kids,” Turkle puts the onus
squarely on the parents. In citations from research, anecdotes, and interviews,
she paints modern parents as helpless against the siren song of social media
notifications, work emails, and at GIFs, all to the detriment of our kids.
·
According to Turkle, “several
‘generations” of children have grown up expecting parents and caretakers to be
only half there. Many parents text at breakfast and dinner, and parents and
babysitters ignore children when they take them to playgrounds and parks.”
·
Ignoring kids in favor of devices
fails to model empathy and they’re less likely to learn the skills of creating
and maintaining relationships, which are learned through physical interactions
with each other.
What You Can Do With
This
·
Create a “sacred space” — a
device-free zone in your home where conversation or solitude will not be
interrupted. You might want to keep the cookies and beer in this area lest no one ever visit
there.
·
Be the grownup and put your d— phone
away.
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