WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 9 - 13

Motivating Underachievers Part I: When Your Child Says "I Don't Care" by James Lehman, MSW

Are you facing the new school year with dread because you have an unmotivated or underachieving teen or pre-teen? Is your child’s answer to everything, “I don’t care” or “It doesn’t matter?” In Part I of this two-part series, James Lehman, MSW explains why your child does have motivation—and how you can coach them to better behavior.

The first thing to understand about teens and pre-teens who seem to have no motivation is this simple truth: It's impossible to have no motivation. Everybody is motivated—it just depends on what they’re motivated to do. I think it's helpful to see that rather than being unmotivated, these kids are actually motivated to not perform and to resist their parents. In other words, they’re motivated to do nothing.

Once you realize that your adolescent is motivated to do nothing, it will become obvious to you right away that he actually puts a lot of energy into doing that “nothing.”

Parents often think that if they can find a new way to encourage their child, he or she will magically start achieving more. I don't think it's like that at all. In fact, I think the problem is that these kids are motivated to resist, withdraw and under-perform. In effect, instead of acting out, they’re acting in.

Think of lack of motivation as an action problem—and the action is to resist. These kids are making excuses; they’re pushing their parents away. At school, they’re motivated to resist studying and homework. They're also motivated to resist their teachers. Look at it this way: these kids are motivated to say “I don’t care,” either with their words or with their actions. They’re saying those words; they’re telling you what they’re doing—they’re not caring.

How Can Parents Motivate Their Teen or Pre-teen? 
Once you realize that your adolescent is motivated to do nothing, it will become obvious to you right away that he actually puts a lot of energy into doing that “nothing.” He puts a lot of energy into resisting you, to withdrawing from you, to making complaints. When you talk to an adolescent who's an underachiever, what you hear are a lot of errors in thinking. “I can't; it’s too hard; it doesn't matter; I don’t care.” In fact, “I don’t care” is their magic wand and their shield—it takes off pressure and makes them feel in control all at the same time. The words “I don’t care” empower them. When they start feeling anxious about their place in life, it soothes them to say it doesn’t matter; they use it like a soporific or a drug. “I don’t care” also helps them deal with their anxiety. Fear of failure? “I don’t care.” It's hard to do? “I don’t care.” It dismisses everything.

Frankly, you can't make your child care. Let’s be honest, the old saying, “You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make him drink” is true. But understand that while we can’t make our kids drink, we can certainly try to make them thirsty.

9 Ways to Get through to Your Underachieving Child or Teen

Look at What Your Child Likes: Look for things that can be used as rewards for your child. Make a point of observing what your child likes and enjoys now. And don't take his word for it; he'll tell you he doesn't care about anything; that “nothing matters.” But look at his actions—if he watches a lot of TV, plays on the computer, if he likes video games or texting, you know what he likes. Ask yourself: does he like going to the movies? Does he like going fishing? Does he like taking walks? Take an inventory of the things he enjoys and write it all down on a piece of paper. (While I usually recommend that parents sit down with their kids and draw up this list together, in the case of kids who tend to withhold, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Don't ask a child who uses passive aggressive behavior; because he won’t tell you—remember, withholding is his way of maintaining control.) Later, you can use these things as incentives.

Take the Goodies out of His Room: I think underachieving kids should not have a lot of goodies in their rooms. Look at it this way: their room is just a place for them to withdraw. If you have a child who holes up in his bedroom, the computer should be in the living area—and if he's going to use it, he should be out there with other people. He also shouldn’t have a TV or video games in his room, and if he’s not performing, don’t let him have his cell phone, either.

I also want to be clear and state that it’s important to realize that there's a difference between being motivated to do nothing and being completely withdrawn. A child who won’t attend to his work or do his chores is different from someone who's depressed. If your child won't come out of his room, doesn’t seem to care no matter what you take away, and is often isolated and withdrawn, you have to take that seriously and seek professional help.

Make Sure everything is Earned Each Day: I think that you have to hold unmotivated kids accountable. Make sure everything is earned. Life for these guys should be one day at a time. They should have to earn video games every day. And how do they earn them? By doing their homework and chores. They earn their cell phone today and then start over tomorrow. Let me be clear: for these kids, Mom should hold the phone.

Have Conversations about What Your Child Wants: When times are good, I think you should talk to your child about what he would like to have some day. Try to sneak in different ideas to get your child to think about how he will achieve what he wants in life. Sit down with your child and say “So what kind of car would you like to have? Do you like Jeeps?” Try to get him to talk about what he'd like. Because later on you can say, “Look, I care about you and I want you to get that Jeep—and you're not going to get it by not doing your homework."

As a parent, I'd be talking this way to your child from pre-adolescence. You can say things like, “Just think, some day you're going to have your own place. What kind of place would you like?” That's the type of thing you use to motivate adolescents because that's what is real to them: they want to get an apartment, they want to have a girlfriend or boyfriend, they want to get a car. So have conversations about what it takes to attain those things. And don’t forget, it’s a mistake to give your teen or pre-teen lectures when you want them to do something—instead, make them see that completing their responsibilities is in their best interests, because it leads to the life they’d like to have in the future.

Don’t Shout, Argue, Beg or Plead: Personally, I think if you’re shouting, you're just showing your frustration—and letting your child know that he’s in control. Here’s the truth: when people start shouting, it means they've run out of solutions. With kids who are underperforming, I think you have to be very cool. Arguing, pleading, and trying to get your teen to talk about how they feel is not very effective when they’re using withholding as a relationship strategy.

In my opinion, you can try almost anything within reason for five minutes. So you can negotiate, you can reason, you can ask your child about their feelings. It’s fine to say, “Is something wrong?” Just be aware that a chronic withholder will be motivated not to answer you.

“It Matters to Me.” I think parents have to be very clear and tell their children that what they do matters to them. Personalize it by saying, “It matters to me. I care about you. I want you to do well. I can't make you do it and I won't force you. But it matters to me and I love you.”

By the way, when I tell parents to personalize it by saying “It matters to me,” that doesn’t mean you should take it personally. Taking something personally means believing that your child’s inappropriate behavior is directed at you. It’s not—in reality, it’s their overall strategy to deal with the stresses of life. The concept of “It Matters to Me” helps because relationships can be motivating, but your child is his own person. It's no reflection on you if he doesn't want to perform. You just have to set up the scenario and enhance the probability that he's going to do what he needs to do. But don't take it personally, as if somehow you have to make him do it. The truth is, you can't.

Stop Doing Your Child’s Tasks for Him: “Learned helplessness” is when people learn that if they don’t do something, someone will step in and do it for them—and it’s a very destructive pattern. When kids and teens use this shortcut, they don't learn independence. In fact, in families where this occurs, many times you'll find that the kids weren’t allowed to be independent very much. Perhaps they had to do things a certain way and all the choices were made for them. Eventually, they gave up; they surrendered.

Regardless of why your child might have an attitude of learned helplessness, as a parent, it’s important to stop doing things that he needs to do for himself. Don’t do his homework—let him do it. You can be available for help if necessary, but don’t take on his tasks. I believe one of the most important things an adolescent has to learn is independence, and if you take on his responsibilities, you’re robbing him of this chance to develop.

Learn How to Be a Coach: Let’s face it: it's often sports coaches who get the most out of our kids. It’s their job to help kids want to improve their skills. So the coach learns a little bit about each of his players. A good coach is not constantly saying, “You’re great, you’re the best, you’re a superstar!” Rather, they always keep their athletes looking forward by complimenting them on the specifics of their progress: “Nice layup, Josh. You positioned your hands better that time. Keep it up.” I think parents need to learn more about the Coaching parenting style. Always keep your child looking forward. Comment on his or her progress instead of telling them how great they are when they haven’t put forth much of an effort. Kids see through flattery and false praise just like adults do—and it usually backfires.

Set Deadlines and Use Structure: Tell your child clearly when to do chores and schoolwork—and when you want them done by. I think it's important to schedule these kids, to give them structure. “Do your chores from 3 p.m. to 4 p.m., and then you'll have free time until dinner. And during free time, you can do whatever you want to do.” There are other ways to motivate your child by saying, “If you can accomplish this in X amount of time, we'll go to your cousin’s house on Saturday” or “I’ll take you to the boat show this weekend.” Remember, not everything that your child likes to do costs money, so add those activities into the equation.

I think it’s important for parents to realize that being an underachiever gives your child a sense of control and power, because then he doesn't have to worry about the anxiety of failure or meeting challenging responsibilities. He doesn't have to compete with other kids. He doesn't have to deal with people's expectations. In fact, a large part of underachieving has to do with managing other people's expectations. That’s because once you start to achieve, people expect more of you. Kids feel this quite powerfully and they don't have much defense against it. So you'll often see that when people start expecting more of these kids, they fall apart.

For me, it's not about who's to blame; it's about who's going to take responsibility. A kid who's an underachiever is motivated to do less—or to do nothing—because it gives him a sense of power and it gets him out of the stress of having to meet responsibilities. Your job as a parent is to help him by coaching him to meet those responsibilities in spite of his anxiety, fear or apathy.

Read more: http://www.empoweringparents.com/Motivating-Underachievers-The-Truth-about-Unmotivated-Kids.php#ixzz2cpPDK9ho

WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 2 - 6

10 Ways to Motivate Your Child to Do Better in School by Debbie Pincus MS LMHC

“My son is a smart kid, but he doesn’t work hard in school. Now the teacher said he’s in danger of getting F’s in most of his subjects.”

“My daughter just does enough to get by, instead of trying her best. When I talk to her about how important it is to get good grades in high school, she rolls her eyes and tells me she doesn’t care and that it’s boring. It’s enough to make me pull my hair out.”

The truth is, most kids are motivated, but not by what we think should motivate them.

Do you have a child who comes home with failing grades year after year—or straight C’s when you know he could get A’s? You assume, based on his abilities, that he should be more successful in school. It’s enough to drive you crazy—especially because you know how important it is for him to do well so he can get into college someday—or even just graduate. You’re worried sick about his future, so you nag and get on his case about his laziness, lack of motivation and irresponsibility. You just don’t get why he’s so uninterested in doing well, so you try everything you can think of to motivate him. But try as you might, the situation doesn’t get better—in fact, it gets worse.

As a parent, it’s difficult not to become invested in our child’s academic life because we know how important it is for their future. From our perspective, it makes no sense that our kids would put things like friends or electronics before their work. The truth is, most kids are motivated, but not by what we think should motivate them. Look at it this way: your child is probably highly motivated and not at all lazy when it comes to things that excite him, like video games, music, Facebook and what cool new jeans to buy. One thing for certain is that if you pressure your child in order to motivate him, it almost always makes things worse.

Understand that kids need to buy into the value of doing well. Think about it in terms of your own life—even as an adult, you may know it’s best to eat right, but actually following through is another story! In a way, your child must own the importance of doing well himself. Of course external factors may also get in the way (mental or physical illnesses, learning disabilities or behavioral disorders, family issues and substance abuse, to name a few.)  

For some people, all the stars are aligned at the right time—motivation, skill and attitude combine to create a successful outcome. But for most of us, it’s way trickier and a much more uneven path to motivation and success. When you think about it, not every kid asks teachers for help, does all their homework on time all the time, reviews the material they learned each night and puts aside all the other distractions to get down to their studies. The ones who do are typically the kids who have what is called “good executive functioning,” because the front part of their brain is more developed. This plays a significant role in school achievement. It helps the regulation of emotions, attention span, perseverance, and flexibility. For many, many kids their functioning often does not develop until much later in the adolescent years. This is particularly tough if you are a parent who was responsible at an early age, but you now have a child lagging behind. It’s hard to imagine that they’re not just lazy, irresponsible and unmotivated. Of course, if you start believing these things about your child, you will simply get annoyed, frustrated, angry, and reactive to their laziness—which will contribute to the power struggle and to their to their defiance. How can you avoid doing this? Read on to find out.

1. Keep a relationship with your kids that is open, respectful and positive. Stay on your kids’ team, don’t play against them. This will allow you to be most influential with them, which is your most important parenting tool. Punishing, preaching, threatening and manipulating will get you nowhere and will be detrimental to your relationship and to their ultimate motivation. Your feelings of anxiety, frustration and fear are normal and understandable. But reacting to your kids out of these emotions will be ineffective. Remember, your child is not behaving this way on purpose to make your life miserable or because they are lazy good-for-nothings. When you feel yourself getting worked up, try saying to yourself, “My child is just not there yet.” Remember, your job is to help them learn how to be responsible. If you get negative and make this a moral issue, then your child might become defiant, reacting to you instead of thinking through things himself.  

2. Incorporate the “when you” rule.  One of life’s lessons is that we get the goodies after we do the work. When you practice shooting hoops every day, you start making more baskets. You get paid after you work at your job. So start saying things like, “When you finish studying you are welcome to go to Gavin’s house.” Or “When your homework is completed, we can discuss watching that movie you wanted to see on Netflix.” Enforce this rule and stick to it. If your child does not yet have the ability to plan and initiate and persevere, by sticking to this rule, you are helping them learn how to do what their own brain is not yet equipped to do, which is to create the structure for him.

3. When you are invited in. If your child is not studying and his grades are dropping, you’re invited in whether he wants you or there or not. Again, you’re there to help set up a structure that he is not able to create for himself. The structure might include scheduled study times, having the computer out in a public place in your home, and saying, “No video games or TV until after homework is done.” You might decide that he must spend a certain amount of hours devoted to study time. During this time, no electronics or other distractions are allowed. You might make the rule that even if he finishes all his homework, he must complete study time by reviewing, reading, or editing. You might make the rule that he devotes an hour-and-a-half to quiet time, no electronics, and just doing his work. Understand that it’s not meant as punishment; rather, this is helping him develop a good work ethic and to focus on his school subjects. Some kids do better listening to music while they study, but no other electronics or multi-tasking is recommended.

4. Ask the teacher. If your child’s grades and work habits are not up to par, you can set up a plan by sitting down with him and his teachers. He might have to check with them to make sure he has everything before leaving school, and then check with you before going back to school to make sure all his work is in his bag. Once your child gets better at managing his time, completing his work and reviewing his subjects before tests, then it’s time for you to back off.

5. Identify a study spot. You may need to sit with your child while she’s doing her work or at least be nearby to help her stay on track. She may need a quiet location away from brothers and sisters or she may do better in a room near others. You can help her experiment. But once you find what works best, keep her in that location. You will not do her work for her, but you may need to review her work and ask her if a certain paragraph makes sense to her, for example.

6. Break it down. Decide together whether or not it will be helpful to your child for you to help him break down his assignments into small pieces and organize on a calendar what he should get done each day. You can get him a big wall calendar or a white board. You might also get extra help from his teacher or get a tutor for him if that’s in your budget.

7. Be kind but firm. Try your best to be a parent who is kind, helpful, consistent and firm versus punitive, over-functioning and controlling. For every negative interaction with your child, try to create ten positive ones. Try to put the focus on supporting and encouraging him instead of worrying and nagging. When you start to believe his grades are a reflection of you or your parenting and that you are responsible for his outcome, you will be on his case—and it will be harmful and ineffective.

8. Lack of motivation or anxiety? Recognize that so much of your child’s lack of motivation (or what looks like irresponsibility) might be his own anxiety or shame about academics and schoolwork. Most people have anxiety about doing certain things and avoid them like the plague. Kids may not be able to explain all of this to you because it’s not always on a conscious level for them. Here’s a typical scenario. Let’s say your child tells you he doesn’t have homework when he actually does.  This will stir up your anxiety. When you react to it by yelling or criticizing, your child will manage his anxiety by distancing from it—and from you—more. While a little anxiety can motivate, too much blocks your child’s ability to think and to have access to the part of the brain that helps him with motivation. Keep your emotions in check by recognizing that it’s your child’s anxiety at play rather than his laziness. Your job (and how you will be most helpful to him) is to not react to his anxiety or your own.

Recognize that sometimes your child’s feelings of shame, inferiority or anxiety can be misinterpreted as a lousy attitude, lack of motivation, and irresponsibility. Often the cover up for these vulnerable emotions can take the form of acting out, shutting down, avoidance, and defiance. Remember that what is happening now may look very different as your child matures and develops. In the meantime, in a positive relationship, lend him your brain by helping him with the structure and habits he can’t pull off on his own. And calm yourself by understanding the bigger picture of what is going on now.

9. Teach life balance. Remember to always keep the big picture in mind. Rather than go crazy over your child’s grades, help her to balance her life with friendships, other activities, volunteer work and family activities. Get involved with her school affairs when you can and take an interest in her school projects.

10. Don’t futurize. When we see our child seeming to have no interest in his life, it’s easy to start fast forwarding into the future. When he acts like he doesn’t care about anything except video games and his friends, we worry that he won’t be successful or even functional on his own. This ramps up our anxiety and our fear. But here’s the truth: none of us have a crystal ball or can really see into the future. Focusing on the negative things your child is doing will only bring the spotlight on them, and may set you both up for a power struggle. Instead, focus on your child’s positive traits and help him work on those in the present. Is he outgoing, helpful, or good with animals? Focus on all the things that go into a developed, successful person, not just academics and grades and help your child develop in social, creative, and emotional ways.

Parents are often so worried about their child falling behind that they end up in a power struggle with their kids over it, but nothing gets better. They go round and round, just fighting about the grades and the work. But if you as the parent can calm down and understand that this is not just a bad attitude and an unmotivated kid—and that you can’t force them to be motivated—then you can actually start meeting your child where he is and helping where he needs help. Remember, your goal is to stop the reactivity and solve the problem.

Read more: http://www.empoweringparents.com/10-ways-to-motivate-your-child-to-do-better-in-school.php#ixzz2cpOocB9Q

WEEK OF AUGUST 26 - 30

Does Your Child Challenge Authority? 4 Things Parents Can Do by Kim Abraham LMSW and Marney Studaker-Cordner LMSW

You: “Please put your things away.” 
Your child: “I’m busy. I’ll do it later.” 
You: “You need to do your homework.” 
Your child: “It’s stupid. I’m not doing it!” 
You: “You’re not allowed to go to that party. You’re grounded.” 
Your child: “NO! I’m not grounded! I’m going!”

Does it ever feel like your child or teenager has an answer for everything—and usually takes the exact opposite position on what you’ve just said? Many kids struggle with authority, and have trouble following limits or rules, complying with requests and or generally are disrespectful to others in society. Some wear their defiance on their sleeves and are angry in their refusal (How dare you tell me what to do?!). Others are more subtle and simply “dig their heels in.”

"Why do some kids fight so hard against authority, as if giving up control is equal to drowning?"

What’s Your Child’s Style of Defiance?
On the other hand, defiance may be hard to pinpoint. Your daughter appears to follow your rules initially, but then goes behind your back and does something completely different. The fight doesn’t come when the directive or rule is given but instead it comes later, after she’s been caught disobeying. Whatever a child’s style of defiance may be, it can leave parents, teachers and other authority figures feeling frustrated, angry and unsure how to respond.

Why do some kids fight so hard against authority, as if giving up control is equal to drowning? Possibly because that’s exactly how it feels to them. We often look to the why in order to figure out how to change the behavior. Personality can certainly play a role – some people hate rules and authority their whole lives. Other factors can include depression, anxiety, ADHD or other conditions that may contribute to a child struggling with behavior.

In some cases, we may never be able to determine exactly why a child is making certain choices or behaving a certain way. Adults often spend a great deal of time trying to identify potential triggers to a child’s defiance. In fact, there may be multiple triggers: being told “no,” facing a limit or rule, or feeling jealous or uncomfortable can certainly contribute to defiant behavior. Professionals use the term Oppositional Defiant Disorder (O.D.D.) to describe a child whose defiant behavior has escalated to the point that it has become a pattern.

It can be helpful to identify triggers to educate and support your child so she might change her behavior. (For more on this, read How to Find the Triggers That Set Your Child Off.) But the fact is, the world and society aren’t going to go out of their way to avoid “triggering” your child during the course of her life. Regardless of the reasons we struggle, society has expectations. As parents, it’s our job to prepare our kids for life in the Real World. And the Real World often doesn’t take kindly to individuals who constantly challenge and defy authority.

So what can we do, as parents trying to raise a child into a productive member of society—a person who thinks for themself, yet isn’t always fighting authority or refusing to comply with rules?

1. Don’t fall into the trap of excuses and blame. When an issue comes up with your child, stay focused on the topic – your child’s behavior and the potential consequences. For example, your child might say, “I didn’t do my homework because the teacher didn’t explain what we were supposed to do.” He blames his refusal to do homework on his teacher, and says the teacher doesn’t treat him fairly in class. Our advice to his parent: Try not to get caught up in the idea that Johnny’s teacher “isn’t fair.” There’s lots of injustice in the world and Johnny will encounter it frequently - as we all do. Stay focused on the behavior (Johnny’s refusal to do his work) and the potential consequences (failing his class). You can say, “It sounds like you’re blaming your teacher for the fact that you didn’t do your homework…but it’s your responsibility.”

2. Don’t fall into emotional traps. It’s easy to get caught up in the emotion of your child’s defiance. They’re upset, you’re upset and sometimes teachers or other adults are upset. Again, it takes the focus off the topic at hand. Don’t personalize what your child is saying or doing—just stay as objective as you can and focus on the matter at hand.

3. Teach your child to think. Kids who defy authority are often reacting to adults and rules, rather than making conscious, deliberate choices. They don’t take time to think their actions through to what the potential consequences might be for their behavior. Weighing decisions and consequences, creating a list of pros and cons and then making a well thought-out choice is one of the most valuable skills your child can learn. It’s never too early to start teaching your child how to evaluate situations. So the next time she makes a comment like, “I’m not going to study for the test,” instead of getting caught up in emotion (which is natural for parents), ask her questions instead: “What might happen if you choose not to study?” If she responds with, “Nothing,” try to stay calm and continue with questions rather launching into a lecture or fight. You might ask, “Could you get a lower score, or even fail the test—or the class?” The point of the questions is not to interrogate, but to teach your child to think rather than react.

4. Remember that consequences are a part of life. Whether they are natural consequences – something that occur naturally as a direct result of your child’s actions – or consequences that you provide, it’s how your child will learn about life. Allow them to occur even when your instincts shout out to save your child from being uncomfortable.

Back to School Note: 

School offers daily opportunities for conflict when a child defies authority. You might think of school as a preparation for the future workplace environment your child will potentially encounter. There are principals, teachers (bosses) and peers (co-workers). There are rules, expectations and rewards. You may be dreading the start of school, anticipating phone calls home about your child’s behavior.

Here are a few suggestions to keep in mind for the upcoming year:

Remember: school is your child’s job, not yours. Whenever possible, allow your child to remain responsible for his or her behavior and performance. As a parent, you can encourage and support your child. If he asks for help because he’s struggling, you may provide assistance or arrange tutoring. But it’s your child’s job to remain motivated. We’ve known well-intentioned parents who completed a child’s homework so she would receive credit or lied and said a child spent time reading when he didn’t. Remember, your child is learning habits for a lifetime. In fifteen years, his co-worker won’t write his reports for him!

Keep the focus on your child when communicating with the school. When a child defies authority, teachers and principals may try to hold you accountable for her behavior. Why? Because your child doesn’t care (or is acting like she doesn’t). School staff will look to someone who does care, in order to change the behavior. Often, that turns out to be the parent. If you find that happening, redirect the focus back to holding your child accountable as much as possible. Yes, there are some states where parents are held accountable now for a child’s truancy. In those cases, you’ll want to protect yourself as much as possible. But in general, when it comes to not following the rules or completing classwork, remind school staff that you want your child to learn these life lessons now. You are all on the same page – working toward teaching your child to be a productive member of society. What will his consequence be for certain behaviors? Detention? Suspension? Staying in from recess? Even though it may be hard to see your child uncomfortable, that’s the only way he will make the choice to change his behavior.

Make sure you are doing your part. Yes, your child is responsible for her behavior and choices. But make sure you’re also meeting your responsibilities as a parent. This means ensuring your child has the tools necessary to do her “job” as a student: materials, support and encouragement. If your child is younger or struggles to remember things, you may need to prompt her by asking if she’s completed homework. There’s a difference between prompting in order to support her education and rescuing from having to do the work by doing it for her.

One final note: On the surface, it might sound like a great idea to teach our kids how to comply with authority all the time, without questioning it. But in doing so, we would be losing many of our “rebels,” the individuals who challenge society’s status quo and teach us about ourselves and our own values. We wantour children to learn to be “critical thinkers.” The key is to encourage that independent thinking while also teaching our kids to be respectful and think through the consequences before they act.

Read more: http://www.empoweringparents.com/does-your-child-challenge-authority-4-things-parents-can-do.php#ixzz2cpMyE3k0

WEEK OF AUGUST 19 - 23

Four Ways to Succeed in High School English Class

Whether you love it or hate it, high school English class is one of the most important classes a student can take - if they make the most of it. Many will say that reading Charles Dickens or Shakespeare and writing a five paragraph essay about it has no value to a student's future. That's true if you don't think that critical reading and analysis skills are important. The fact is, reading and writing go hand in hand, each piggybacking on the other to take you to a higher skill level. No, you won't have to write academic essays when you grow up to be in marketing - but you will have to know how to organize ideas and sentences in a logical, coherent manner if you want to be taken seriously in any job you undertake.

So what's the secret to mastering high school English class? These four tips can help.

Learn the 5 paragraph essay. Now!
Take the time to memorize the structure of a five paragraph essay. Many schools are teaching this as early as 5th or 6th grade but by the time students get to me in 9th grade, they're still shocked and overwhelmed when I present this concept to them. It seems like a lot but really it's not so hard. Your introduction lets the reader know what they'll be reading about, your three body paragraphs (or more) talk about the main points you're arguing and your conclusion sums up what you've said and tells us why it's important. See? Not so bad. The important thing to remember is that if you really take the time to master this concept early, writing all of your papers in high school and college will be a breeze. It doesn't hurt to have this skill in the workforce either - writing emails, reports and presentations is a snap when you understand how to structure your ideas and arguments.

Read a little bit everyday!
The more you read, the more you are exposed to new vocabulary and complex sentencing. Every time you read something - be it a classic of literature, an article on Facebook or even a graphic novel, you're expanding your knowledge store of what good writing looks like. Outside of school, there are relatively few occasions where you need to know the definition of a gerund or a past participle - you just have to know when a sentence either doesn't look or sound right. This also helps with any issues you may have with spelling - the more words you see, the easier it will be to either remember how to spell them or figure it out on your own. The stronger the reader, the stronger the writer.

What's important to remember is that it really doesn't matter what you read, as long as you make it a habit. Many students say that they hate reading. Well yes if all you've ever read is what you're required to read for school! Most movies come from books so if you can think of a movie you really enjoy, why not try out the book? Put in the effort to find something that appeals to you and spend 15-20 (or more!) minutes a day reading.

Journal!
It's like thinking... but writing. Whether I'm teaching a class or I'm tutoring one student, I always begin every lesson with a short journal entry. Journaling helps you get your ideas out into the universe without editing yourself - so don't worry if you have mistakes, the point is that you're jump-starting your writing skills by getting words out on paper. The best way to do this is to read and journal in tandem. So if your homework assignment is to read the first chapter of The Great Gatsby, spend five to ten minutes writing about what you read. What happened? Who was involved? What do you think about what's going on? Does it remind you of something else, something in the news, something that you saw on TV or something that happened to you? This activity can help you remember important points in the story which will ultimately help you do well on quizzes, essay tests or even class discussions.

Ask for help!
If grammar and punctuation is a problem, the best advice I can give you is to see your teacher or a tutor. You'd be amazed if I told you how rarely students come by at lunch or after school, even when they know they need help. If your papers are constantly getting marked up with red pen, make sure you ask for a private lesson on what you're doing wrong and how to fix it. There are also a number of good books out there that not only explain these concepts but allow you to practice. I really enjoy theCaught'ya! Grammar series by Jane Bell Kiester. Her books teach you how to fix broken sentences and improve your vocabulary - all while being really funny and entertaining.

Just remember, a lot of the things you read and write in English class may not seem especially important for your future. However, your teachers are trying to set up a frame work in which you understand how to read and write critically. You need those two skills for everything so go the extra mile!

Taken from: http://voices.yahoo.com/four-ways-succeed-high-school-english-class-9101443.html

Week of August 12 - 16

HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL STUDENT

Being successful in high school comes with a lot of patience as well as motivation. Unfortunately there are so many distractions coming your way, sometimes it becomes hard to say no. However, if you want to become a successful student, then you have to start learning how to say no to these distractions. It may be hard during the school year, and also tiring, but the hard work always pays off at the end. When you graduate you want to graduate with honors, you want to also be remembered as a diligent school worker. So remember, become a successful student, for that will determine your success in the future.

Make good use of your agenda. They give it to you for a reason. Don't only write homework, but make sure to write down other stuff you'll need to remember (like games, practices, study sessions, etc). In order to be a successful high school student, you need to have the ability to stay on top of all your activities. Use your agenda to stay organized and follow through with your plans. Also, use your agenda to set time limits. If you're spending more than an hour on that math assignment, you're clearly not getting it, and are only hurting yourself. Stop, put it aside, and move on to other homework. Come back to it later and if you still don't get it, explain what happened to your teacher. Chances are, they'll be happy to help and not dock your grade. Just make sure you've made an attempt to do the work.

Stay organized. Make sure you have all the supplies you need. It may help to have one 3-ring binder with pockets for each class (maybe only a folder for an elective class) with loose-leaf paper and dividers if they help. If your teacher likes to lecture, have a spiral notebook for notes- the pages are less likely to rip out than loose-leaf. Keep papers in chronological order- they'll be easier to find later when studying. If your binder starts to get full, transfer old papers into another binder to keep at home. This way you won't have to lug them around, but they will be there when studying for midterms and finals.

School IS important. You don't have to be the nerd who holes himself/herself up in his/her bedroom Friday night or reads gigantic books in the corner of the room to be considered someone who takes school seriously. The truth is, school IS important. You need it to have a good resume, and you need it to get into a good college and later get a good career that will support you for the rest of your life, but even though you decide not to go to college, school does help a lot. Social wise and intellectually. It's important to have fun and have lots of extra-curricular activities, but school should always be your number one priority. That being said, never take homework, tests, and quizzes lightly! Note that extra-curricular activities are also good with college resumes as well.

School is important, but so is a social life. Balance is the key. You can be someone who makes straight A's in all advanced classes, but if you have zero extra-curricular activities in your application for college, you will have a much more difficult time getting accepted. It's just not attractive either way. Keep on top of your school work but make sure you let your hair down a little sometimes to join a few clubs consistently throughout your high school years. You won't regret it.

Get involved at your school. You don't have to wear spirit colors everyday or be a cheerleader to do this. All you need to do is to stay on top of things- current events, who won the basketball game last Friday, attending school functions like dances and variety shows, keeping up with plans your student council has for the school, etc. Just like keeping up with current events and politics is important, so is being active at your campus. Not only will it bond you with other people, but it's always good to have a collective unity over a student body. It shows that you care about the learning environment that you're in that you support all the organizations at your school.

Join a sport. It's easy to forget to stay in shape when the workload starts piling up, so joining a team at your school makes it one less worry in your schedule; it's already incorporated in your daily routine. If you're going for all three seasons, that's great, but make sure you're being reasonable. If you're taking all honors classes, for example, and you know you're going to have a heck of a lot of homework, you may want to consider taking a season off. Try your hardest at both your sport and your schoolwork and you should be more than great- you're healthy and on top of your schoolwork.

Figure out what your hobbies are and find a club that matches that. Not being an athlete is no excuse for not having something to do after school. If you're into art, join the art club. Music, and join the orchestra or a band. Join something and be sure to stick with it for a long time; it looks good on college applications. If you're not into any of your school's clubs, ask your principal to start a new one. Most likely he/she will say yes and it's just one quick and easy process into a initiating a new activity at your school.

Care about college. As soon as sophomore year, start visiting colleges. You don't need to decide anything yet, but it will help you decide if you want a large school or small (urban, rural, or suburban, if a state school is an acceptable choice, and so on). Visit your guidance counselor a lot- they're going to have to write a letter of recommendation so the better they know you, the better a letter you'll get. They'll also be able to help recommend colleges and find scholarships.

Care about your Grade Point Average. Your GPA is as important to you as your parents credit score is to them. A low credit score prevents your parent from being able to get a loan, rent an apartment, get a credit card, get a cell phone and on and on. Your parents credit score is their lifeline. It opens doors and closes doors. Your GPA is your lifeline! With a HIGH GPA many options are available after graduation. You will have many choices regarding which colleges you can attend. A low GPA limits your options. There is a program out there for everyone but having a choice makes the walk across the stage a sweet victory!

Make friends with everyone. There's too much going on to worry about cliques, who's friends with whom, who the popular people are, etc. The best thing to do is to just be friends with everyone. Be confident and be yourself. Get into the habit of saying hi to people and not being afraid to talk to new classmates. The more comfortable you become with a more diverse group of people, the more people will like you and the more you will accustom yourself to the art of versatility later in life.

Don't compare yourself with others. It cannot be stressed enough that there's already too much on your plate to worry about trivial stuff like this. High school is only a competition with yourself. Everyday you should only be trying to get better, not worrying about how the girl sitting in front of you has nicer clothes, is getting better grades, has a hotter boyfriend, etc. Ten years from now, this won't matter. Focus on yourself. Focus on what you can do to make yourself better. Then, most importantly, go for it!

Don't procrastinate. This is probably the #1 curse of all high school students. It's hard and it's okay if you do it every once in a while. But when big tests, exams, and essays come, don't make it a habit. You'll only be sorry in the end, especially in college with jumbo papers and insane amounts of reading will become the norm. It's best to accustom yourself to getting things done early and out of the way rather than waiting until the very last minute.

Eat breakfast and lunch. It sounds stupid, but you'd be surprised how many people skip breakfast or lunch. Not only is this dumb, but it's uncool and unhealthy. First of all, waffles are yummy. If you don't have time to eat breakfast at home, take some at the bus stop or buy some at your cafeteria before the first period. It's important to jump start your metabolism the right way so it's running smoothly throughout the whole day. Lunch is important to prevent your stomach from grumbling during your last periods. A full stomach keeps you focused. Skipping meals actually only slows down your metabolism and makes you gain more weight, not less.

Stay healthy both inside and outside of school. Don't fall for the vending machine trap. Most of the food in there is just unhealthy and disgusting. Go for the soy chips or anything whole grain if the vending machine is all you have the moment. Don't fall for the Vitamin Water trap either- it's loaded with sugar. Only if you're a competitive athlete and will be burning off those 400+ calories pretty soon should you pay for that jumbo pack of gummy bears or something. At home, take an after-school snack to keep your belly full until dinner time--invest in fruits, nuts, and healthy chips. Loading on junk food during the day is not only unhealthy but will only give you a temporary "energy" for homework or that 10-page paper you have to write tonight. Convince your school to get an all-natural and organic vending machine (see resources).

Get enough sleep. This is easier said than done, but sleep has so many benefits. If every high school kid got around 7-10 hours like they should, everyone would be a much happier camper. Try to get things done and out of the way so that you get your much needed shuteye. Not only will you be more alert during the day, but it helps improve your complexion and your figure, and you'll be much more likely to pay attention in your boring classes and, as a result, ace them. Of course, this is not always possible, especially in the dreaded junior year. If you're taking 3+ AP's and are in all those clubs and sports, there are chances you will be up until 1 AM doing homework - if that happens, skip clubs/sports the next day and nap! You are no good to anyone when you are severely sleep deprived. Naps are wonderful things. Also, caffeine can help you keep focused - but there are potential side effects, and addiction can hurt you in the short and long term. Try to use the stimulant in moderate amounts and only when absolutely necessary e.g. an important test.

The only trend you should follow is yourself. This doesn't mean you should then go to school the next day wearing pantyhose on your head, or whatever. You should have your own style and your own identity, so that you make your mark in high school the right way and not as a nondescript UGG-wearing replica of every other girl out there (or guy, if you're reading this. You probably don't wear UGGs though). Be original, and don't be afraid to be yourself. It's cliche but it's essential. People are more likely to remember you and want to be friends with you if you are intriguing and different.

Try to go out during the weekends. You endured 5 agonizing days of school, and the time has come to cut yourself some slack. During the weekend, if you have friends to go with, go somewhere fun and have a blast. Even if you don't have many friends, spend the weekend relaxing and doing what you like to do. Let yourself loose and energize yourself so when Monday comes, you're all partied out and ready to focus again. But remember that school is the top priority, so don't do this if you have a ton of homework this weekend.

Never give up. Again, cliche, but important. High school is all about making a fool of yourself but picking yourself back up, trying again, and making friends along the way. Learn to laugh at yourself when you make a mistake. Don't beat yourself up over the occasional C or D (heaven forbid an F) on a test or quiz. Tell yourself to study harder and strive for an A the next time. If your team lost a game, tell yourself to push yourself a little harder at the next practice. Learning this will soon apply outside of school and into other parts of your fantastic life. Learn from your mistakes and you will go a long way. Just remember NO ONE IS PERFECT.

Taken from: http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Successful-High-School-Student

AUGUST 8 - 9

WELCOME BACK!

This is going to be an outstanding school year. We are eager to begin a year full of excitement and new learning experiences.

Miss Gloria