Six of the best: the traits your child needs to
succeed
Skilled
teachers and top schools help, but researchers are increasingly discovering
that what pupils bring to the classroom matters as much – or more – than
what the classroom can offer them.
What
makes a child do well in school? When I ask parents that question, they always
have lots of great answers: a high IQ, a terrific school, well-run lessons,
skilled teachers, a creative curriculum, and high expectations.
Although
all these things help, the real secret of great learning lies elsewhere –
inside children themselves. Increasingly, researchers are discovering that what
children bring to the classroom matters every bit – and in many ways more –
than what the classroom can offer them.
Children
with the attitude and disposition that encourage good learning will flourish
even in a mediocre school, while those who come with a mindset that hampers
learning won't be able to make much of even the best educational opportunities.
Numerous
studies in the US and elsewhere show that test scores leap, often by more than
10 per cent, when children are encouraged to develop good attitudes towards
themselves and their learning. As a result, schools around the world are
starting to offer programmes to help their students develop key character
strengths.
A
recent "positive education" conference at Wellington College in
Berkshire drew participants from America, Singapore and Australia to discuss
how teachers can help students "grow" their inner cores.
But
parents have been left out of this learning loop, and often don't realise that
there is far more to securing a good education for their children than simply
bagging a place at the best school in the neighbourhood – schools and teachers
can only turn children into terrific learners if those children's parents are
laying down the foundations at home that will encourage pupils to step up to
the challenges of the classroom.
There
is growing evidence that character traits such as resilience, persistence,
optimism and courage actively contribute to improved academic grades. And there
are six key qualities that parents can foster in their children that will help
them do their very best in school. These are:
1.
Joie de vivre
The
ability to love and appreciate life might sound wishy-washy in the hard world
of exam results, but love and security feed a host of qualities that great
learners need. These include the ability to be open and receptive, to be
willing and to feel connected.
Meanwhile,
cultivating an attitude of appreciation means being able to enjoy the journey
of learning, wonder at nature, relish a good story, feel good about
achievements, and enjoy the companionship of the classroom. All of which, in
turn, feed confidence, excitement and curiosity back into the learning loop.
2.
Resilience
For
years, resilience has been known to be essential for great learning. Martin
Seligman, the US psychology professor who has studied this extensively, has
shown that it helps children think more flexibly and realistically, be more
creative and ward off depression and anxiety.
Resilient
children give things a try. They understand that learning has plenty of
setbacks and that they can overcome them. Resilient children talk to themselves
differently from non- resilient ones, and don't turn mistakes into catastrophes
("I've failed my maths test, it's a disaster. I'll never get
maths!"). Instead, they look at a wider, more positive picture ("Ugh,
that was a horrible test, and I screwed up, but I didn't do enough work. Next
time I'll do more revision, and it'll probably be a better paper as
well").
3.
Self-discipline
There
are many famous pieces of research that show that children's ability to control
their impulses appears to lead to better health, wealth and mental happiness in
later life. In school, self-discipline is central.
Great
learners need to listen, absorb and think. They need to keep going through
difficult patches, stick at hard tasks, manage their time well and keep mental
focus. Children who bounce about the classroom shouting the first answer that
comes into their heads will never be great learners.
Of
course, a joyless, overly controlled child will never be one either. Balance
matters. All children need to develop a functioning "internal locus of
control".
4.
Honesty
Honesty
matters for great learning because its opposites – deception and self-deception
– hinder progress. Great learners don't say "I'm brilliant at
science" but, "I'm OK on photosynthesis, but not sure I've nailed
atomic structure yet." And this needs to start early.
The
pre-schooler who speaks up and asks what a word means in a story, rather than
pretending to know, is already on the way to being a skilful learner. Honesty
allows children to build good links with teachers and mentors. It grows
confidence, attracts goodwill, and gives children an infallible compass with
which to steer their learning.
5.
Courage
Learning
anything – piano, physics, tennis – is about approaching the unknown, and
stepping up to new challenges. Great learners are just as frightened of this as
others, but can overcome their fear and find focus.
They
are able to try, fail, and try again. They can also navigate school life
skilfully. Children need moral courage to turn away from distractions and to be
willing to be seen as "a geek" if they want to study, while
developing courage also helps them to stand their ground through the
temptations of the teenage years.
6.
Kindness
Great
learners are kind to themselves. They understand that learning is sometimes
hard, and not always possible to get right, but keep a "good" voice
going in their heads to encourage themselves on.
A
kind disposition also draws other people to them and bolsters their learning
through the help and support of others, as well as allowing them to work
productively in teams and groups. A kind disposition also feeds listening and
empathy, which in turn foster deeper, more complex learning.
All
these character qualities are great for learning – and also for life. Research
shows that they help people build more confidence, face challenges better, earn
more money, have more satisfying careers, build stronger relationships, and
keep depression and anxiety at bay. Yet, sadly, figures also show that
increasing numbers of children are growing up with less ability to control their
moods, direct their actions, or show empathy and self-mastery, while many
mental health problems, including eating disorders and self-harm, are on the
rise.
Our
children badly need us to help them develop stronger, more flexible backbones,
and all the qualities that contribute to a strong inner core can be actively
fostered and encouraged by parents (parents and schools working together is
even better). Just as muscles grow stronger with regular exercise, so character
traits are strengthened by thoughtful encouragement and reinforcement.
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