7
Ways to Help Children Develop Self Discipline
One of
the primary tasks of early childhood is to develop self discipline. Parents
often find themselves correcting their children for interrupting, being wild,
not following instructions or for not controlling their hands or mouths. These
all require self discipline or self-control. Young children are by nature
impulsive. Some children have ADHD or other biological factors which
increase impulsiveness. Part of the solution for impulse control is to learn
self discipline. A child armed with self discipline has a tremendous asset for
addressing life's challenges. So many relational and personal problems can be
avoided or controlled when one has self-control. Here are some suggestions for
teaching it to children.
1.
Teach children to come when they are called. When a parent calls a child, that child
shouldn't yell, "What?" from across the house, parking lot or
playground. Children can learn to come to the parent, within a few feet, in
order to have a dialog with the parent. This helps children learn that
self-control sometimes means that we must give up what we would like to be
doing in order to do something else.
2.
Teach children to respond positively to correction. Most
children don't like to be corrected and respond negatively in either aggressive
(anger) or passive (bad attitude) ways. This is unacceptable and becomes an
excellent opportunity to teach self discipline. One of the facts of life is
that people often must follow directions which may not be their preference.
Teach children to respond with a good attitude as well as right behavior. This
requires self-control and helps children learn to control their impulses. A
good response to correction is sometimes difficult to learn but work in this
area will help a child develop a skill which will help them forever.
3. A
number of social skills require self-control. Praise children when they
demonstrate this quality and point out areas they need to work on. Listening, knowing when and how to
interrupt, anger control, reporting back after completing a task all require
self discipline.
4.
Encourage children to take on activities which build self discipline. They may include sports, music lessons, a
paper route, the responsibility of caring for a neighbor's pet, memorization of
scripture, a clean room, or a host of other activities.
5. When
a child receives a reward like payment for a job accomplished or even a star on
a chart or special treat, talk about self discipline. External rewards give a great opportunity
to talk about internal rewards. The real benefit to a paper route is not the
money, it's the building of self discipline. "You are pretty determined
and responsible to get up every morning." "I know you would have
rather played the game but I like the way you took time to walk the dog. That
shows self discipline."
6. Use
bed times to teach self discipline. Some children have a hard
time going to bed without creating a battle and this becomes a great
opportunity to teach self discipline to children. After all, it requires a lot
of self-control for a child to stay quietly in bed while parents are still
awake. Set a bedtime, develop a routine which covers all the necessary bedtime
tasks and work at getting your child to stay in bed without Mom or Dad falling
asleep in the room. This requires work on the part of the parent but will pay
off tremendous dividends in the end.
7.
Morning routines, chores, and family schedules become opportunities for
children to learn responsibility and self discipline. Responsibility is "doing the right
thing even when no one is watching." The rewards for being responsible are
called privileges. The child who is responsible to get ready and be at
breakfast by 7:30 a.m. is allowed the privilege of staying up until their 8:00
p.m. bedtime. Being able to choose one's clothes is the privilege for getting
dressed before the deadline. Simple benefits of life are seen as privileges
associated with basic responsibility.
Some
parents try to give their children an easier life than they had or they try to
make their children feel good at the expense of good character. Unfortunately,
this often translates into more freedom and less self-control. A wise parent
will use childhood to prepare a child for success as an adult. Self discipline
is one of the most important character qualities a child can develop.
Ironically, spoiled children are not happy; self disciplined children often
are!
Self
discipline is a primary quality that will help children be successful in life.
More techniques and ideas are available in the book, Good
and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids.
Used
with permission from Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller.
©
2007 iMom. All rights reserved.
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