SEPTEMBER 15 - 19

6 Good Habits Your Kids Need

Kids need to learn a lot of things as they grow, but these 6 will help them thrive and be happy throughout life.

By Amy Peterson

It’s tempting, as a parent, to make life happy and easy for your children. After all, they are completely helpless when they are born, and rely on parents and caregivers for everything. Part of parenting is teaching children to be responsible and capable. There are many habits children need to develop. Here are six good habits every child needs.

1. Saying thank you

Expressing gratitude is a habit that will help kids throughout their lives. The habit of merely saying "thank you" will take root, and real feelings of gratitude will develop. I've met resistance when forcing children to say thanks, particularly when they are very young or dealing with strangers, so I don't push too hard with little kids. As you model polite manners and help kids write thank-you notes for gifts, they'll learn to show thankfulness. Grateful people are happy people; thus, the gift of gratitude is a good one to give.

2. Smiling

Children who are happy smile often. They are prompted to do so from their very first smiles, as parents encourage and coo in response. When children smile at others, they remind adults that there is good in the world. Happy children are respected and liked. I encourage my children to be friendly to everyone, old and young. Learning to give a simple smile can lift others up and spread happiness every day. I know my mood improves when I receive a smile from a child.

3. Waiting

Patience is hard for children, but studies show those who delay gratification are more successful in life. This starts with learning to wait. Not everyone can be first down the slide or first to receive a special treat. Children also can't monopolize the attention of teachers or adults. To practice this skill, take children to places where other children are, like parks and children's museums or zoos. Make sure your child has plenty of experience socializing with others and being in places where their needs can't always be met immediately. Patience is a lesson that must be taught often and, ironically, takes patience to teach.

4. Picking up after themselves

I know I'm not the only mother who finds herself saying "This is not a hotel, and I am not a maid" when I find myself picking up after the other five people who live in my house. Most people spend much of their lives living with others. I'm trying to teach my creative but messy teen to pick up her things not only in her room, but in common areas, as well. Cleaning up after themselves teaches children to be respectful of their belongings and think of the comfort of others. It also helps them learn that everyone must work together to make a home function well.

5. Drinking water

A healthy habit of water drinking will keep your child happy and his or her body strong. Water helps with overall mood, energy, good digestion and is the best beverage for children. If children drink water most of the time, they will not crave sweet beverages that lead to tooth decay and childhood obesity. If ever my kids say they have a headache or are not feeling well, my first prescription is a drink of water. They know that before they have lemonade or orange juice at a meal when it is served, they have to have a glass of water first.

6. Sharing

This is a difficult lesson to learn, but one that will cultivate a life of service and thinking of others. Toddlers are quite possessive of their toys, and young children seem to delight in only wanting a toy that someone else is playing with. Model sharing with your young children as you play with them, and expect it of older children. The phrase "Can I have the next turn, please" has worked well in our home. Knowing how to share helps kids to be generous, thoughtful and aware of others.

Some of these habits will take years to fully teach. If you start when your children are young, by the time they are young adults they will have cultivated these six good habits and several others, even if they don't always pick up their socks.

Amy Peterson

Amy M. Peterson, a former high school English teacher, currently lives in Oregon with her husband and four children. She spends her days writing, reading, exercising and trying to get her family to eat more vegetables.

 Taken from: http://familyshare.com/6-good-habits-your-kids-need 

SEPTEMBER 8 - 12

HOW TO ESTABLISH TRUST WITH YOUR TEENAGERS

They look like adults, talk like adults and want to be adults more than anything -- but they aren't. Yet. Here are a few tips on establishing trust with your teens as they prepare to enter the big wide world.

By:  Margaret Crowe is a poet and mother of two from Charlotte, North Carolina.

We love them with all of our hearts and yet they can constantly keep us guessing. Teenagers… It seems at times that every new day presents some different challenge that can come between us and a strong relationship with our teens. At this stage of the game, the greatest gift we can give our kids is our trust. By now, we’ve spent more than a decade modeling, instilling and refining the values we want for them. It’s time to let the rubber meet the road.

I’m certainly not suggesting that this is easy. Simultaneously, our teens are testing their boundaries, striving with everything in them for independence, and frequently trying to shake off the parents who can be such a cramp in their style. Still, if we are to survive this ultimate transition into adulthood, it will best serve our relationship with our teens by loosening the reigns.

The good news is that by being consistent and patient, we can still easily reach our teens where they still need us. The following tips may be helpful as you begin to allow yourself to trust your teen out in the big wide world.

Be trustworthy

Yep, there it is. Just like every other stage in your child’s development, it’s critical to lead by example. Keep your promises. Show up for your children. Live in a way that allows you to be candid and open with them about your life, just as you expect it from them. When we begin to treat our teens with the same respect we offer other adults, they can sense that we honor their thought processes and decision making.

Listen purely

Any time you find your teen willing to talk with you about her life is a priceless opportunity. Thank her for her openness. Try not to talk too much. Ask your teen if she wants your input, and if she does, keep it brief. A lot of times teens don’t hear much after the first few sentences anyway. Don’t reward your teen’s willingness to be honest with you with a lecture. Make dialogue a pleasant experience for her, and she’ll be more likely to come to you when she needs help.

Start today

Trust is built one brick at a time. Whether you’re setting out to give your teen new freedoms or recovering and rebuilding from broken trust, it is parents that have to take the lead. Try a new curfew. Give your teen a twenty and ask him to bring you back the change. Give him a clear idea of what your expectation is in as few words as possible, and let him know that you are giving them the gift of your trust. Again, now is not the time to lecture him, but rather to allow him to know that the trust is not a question for you. Choose to give it as a gift.

Let them make mistakes

Teens are just adults in the making. How do we learn best? Personally, I have learned the most profound lessons of my life by making mistakes. I’m grateful for the grace to move past those mistakes and get another opportunity to get it right. Allow your teens the natural consequences of their mistakes, but be there to support them in getting a fresh start. Encourage them that there is always another chance to rebuild trust in your relationship. Encourage yourself by remembering that the teen years are all about trial and error. Eventually, your teen will find his way.

Spend time together

This tip can be more and more challenging as our teens develop their own social lives and priorities. Make certain you set aside time to simply “be” together. A great way to stay connected with your teen and build trust is to take an interest in the things they like to do — even if it’s really not your bag. I’ve been known to spend an hour playing video games with my son, which is totally not my thing, but I love having him take the time to show me how to do something he really enjoys. This time is fertile ground for excellent conversation, and it doesn’t have to be too heavy.

These simple suggestions can be the beginnings of an easier road through the teen years. Loving our kids as much as we do, we can often go to one extreme or another and risk becoming too loose or too controlling. Fortunately, the best guides for what our children need are our children themselves. Take time to listen to what your teen is really saying to you about what they need.

Taken from: http://familyshare.com/how-to-establish-trust-with-your-teenagers

SEPTEMBER 1 - 5

6 GOOD HABITS YOUR KIDS NEED

 Kids need to learn a lot of things as they grow, but these 6 will help them thrive and be happy throughout life.

By: Amy M. Peterson, a former high school English teacher, currently lives in Oregon with her husband and four children. She spends her days writing, reading, exercising and trying to get her family to eat more vegetables.

It’s tempting, as a parent, to make life happy and easy for your children. After all, they are completely helpless when they are born, and rely on parents and caregivers for everything. Part of parenting is teaching children to be responsible and capable. There are many habits children need to develop. Here are six good habits every child needs.

1. Saying thank you

Expressing gratitude is a habit that will help kids throughout their lives. The habit of merely saying "thank you" will take root, and real feelings of gratitude will develop. I've met resistance when forcing children to say thanks, particularly when they are very young or dealing with strangers, so I don't push too hard with little kids. As you model polite manners and help kids write thank-you notes for gifts, they'll learn to show thankfulness. Grateful people are happy people; thus, the gift of gratitude is a good one to give.

2. Smiling

Children who are happy smile often. They are prompted to do so from their very first smiles, as parents encourage and coo in response. When children smile at others, they remind adults that there is good in the world. Happy children are respected and liked. I encourage my children to be friendly to everyone, old and young. Learning to give a simple smile can lift others up and spread happiness every day. I know my mood improves when I receive a smile from a child.

3. Waiting

Patience is hard for children, but studies show those who delay gratification are more successful in life. This starts with learning to wait. Not everyone can be first down the slide or first to receive a special treat. Children also can't monopolize the attention of teachers or adults. To practice this skill, take children to places where other children are, like parks and children's museums or zoos. Make sure your child has plenty of experience socializing with others and being in places where their needs can't always be met immediately. Patience is a lesson that must be taught often and, ironically, takes patience to teach.

4. Picking up after themselves

I know I'm not the only mother who finds herself saying "This is not a hotel, and I am not a maid" when I find myself picking up after the other five people who live in my house. Most people spend much of their lives living with others. I'm trying to teach my creative but messy teen to pick up her things not only in her room, but in common areas, as well. Cleaning up after themselves teaches children to be respectful of their belongings and think of the comfort of others. It also helps them learn that everyone must work together to make a home function well.

5. Drinking water

A healthy habit of water drinking will keep your child happy and his or her body strong. Water helps with overall mood, energy, good digestion and is the best beverage for children. If children drink water most of the time, they will not crave sweet beverages that lead to tooth decay and childhood obesity. If ever my kids say they have a headache or are not feeling well, my first prescription is a drink of water. They know that before they have lemonade or orange juice at a meal when it is served, they have to have a glass of water first.

6. Sharing

This is a difficult lesson to learn, but one that will cultivate a life of service and thinking of others. Toddlers are quite possessive of their toys, and young children seem to delight in only wanting a toy that someone else is playing with. Model sharing with your young children as you play with them, and expect it of older children. The phrase "Can I have the next turn, please" has worked well in our home. Knowing how to share helps kids to be generous, thoughtful and aware of others.

Some of these habits will take years to fully teach. If you start when your children are young, by the time they are young adults they will have cultivated these six good habits and several others, even if they don't always pick up their socks.

Taken from: http://familyshare.com/6-good-habits-your-kids-need

AUGUST 25 - 29

Why You Need Key People to Influence Your Child

Dana Hall McCain writes about marriage, parenting, faith and wellness for print publications and iMOM.com. She’s a mom of two, and has been married to a wonderful guy for 17 years.

There will come a time in your child’s life—probably in the teen years—when he/she will reject your advice simply because it came from you. As kids move toward independence, pulling away from parents is a natural urge. But we all know that teens still need good advice from someone older and wiser. That’s why you want to make sure you have at least one other key influencer in your child’s life whom both of you trust.

In my kids’ school, I’ve noticed a handful of teachers and coaches who definitely fill this role in the lives of many kids. They’re adults who have a true gift for building authentic relationships with their students and maintain those relationships well beyond graduation. By getting to know their students in a real way, they’re able to speak truth into their lives at critical junctures.

In some cases, a youth pastor or a small group leader may be the one your child feels a connection to and looks to for advice. It could be an aunt or uncle or a mature young adult just a few years their senior. Susan Merrill says she learned how to enlist the help of relatives and friends to create needed diversions for her children, too.

Here’s why you need key people—other than you and your husband—to influence your child.

·         Place your child in the right environments.

You can’t force the development of an authentic, influential relationship, but you can improve the odds by putting your child in the right place around the right people. Be proactive about getting your child plugged into a youth group or program known for strong leaders with a desire to engage teens. Is there a coach at your school who is gifted in this area? Maybe encourage your child to try that sport, for no other reason but the coach. When teens are consistently surrounded by people with strong values who care about kids, the odds of a meaningful connection increase significantly.

·         Connect, be observant, but don’t hover.

Once you’ve noticed another adult who has your teen’s attention, keep your eyes open, but don’t hover. If you’re not personally acquainted with the influencer, do your homework by asking other parents what they know about the leader or coach. Privately reach out to him or her to let them know that you appreciate their investment into your child, giving you a chance to get a feel for their values and motivation. In a best-case scenario, you’ll develop a good relationship and a tag-team approach that allows you to strategize with the influencer over time to get your child headed in the right direction. But keep it low key—if your teen senses that you’re meddling or pushing too hard, the relationship might lose its appeal.

·         Resist jealousy.

If the relationship your child has with an adult friend whom they admire makes you a little jealous at times, that’s pretty normal. It can be maddening to give your child a piece of advice repeatedly only to have it ignored, yet have them grab onto the very same wisdom willingly when it comes from Mr. Cool. But that’s the whole point here, right? We want them to hear and accept good advice, no matter who delivers it. Just be thankful that the message is getting through!

·         Trust your instincts if you suspect trouble.

Unfortunately, in today’s world, there are a few people who would use their position and influence over your child in a negative way. If your parenting radar picks up even a hint of this, don’t ignore it. Even great schools, churches, and organizations have a bad apple on staff occasionally. Don’t let your guard down when it comes to proper travel arrangements, lodging arrangements, and accountability for all. If a relationship becomes problematic or is yielding negative outcomes, shut it down.

Taken from: http://www.imom.com/why-you-need-key-people-to-influence-your-child/

AUGUST 18 - 22

10 Habits of High Effective Students

Some people believe that really successful students are just born that way. True, some students are able to breeze through school with little or no effort. However, the vast majority of successful students achieve their success by developing and applying effective study habits. The following are the top 10 study habits employed by highly successful students. So if you want to become a succesful student, don't get discouraged, don't give up, just work to develop each of the study habits below and you're see your grades go up, your knowledge increase and your ability to learn and assimilate information improve.

1. Don't try cram all your studying into one session.

Successful students typically space their work out over shorter periods of time and rarely try to cram all of their studying into just one or two sessions. If you want to become a successful student then you need to learn to be consistent in your studies and to have regular, yet shorter, study periods.

2. Plan when you're going to study.

Successful students schedule specific times throughout the week when they are going to complete their studying -- and then they stick with their schedule. Students who study sporadically and whimsically typically do not perform as well as students who have a set study schedule.

3. Study at the same time.

Not only is it important that you plan when you're going to study but that you also create a consistent, daily study routine. When you study at the same time each day and each week you're studying will become a regular part of your life. You'll be mentally and emotionally more prepared for each study session and each study session will become more productive.

4. Each study time should have a specific goal.

Simplying studying without direction is not effective. You need to know exactly what you need to accomplish during each study session. Before you start studying set a study session goal that supports your overall academic goal (i.e. memorize 30 vocabulary words in order to ace the vocabulary section on an upcoming Spanish test.)

5. Never procrasitinate your planned study session.

Its very easy, and common, to put off your study session because of lack of interest in the subject, because you have other things you need to get done first or just because the assignment is hard. Successful students DO NOT procrastinate studying. If you procrastinate your study session, your studying will become much less effective and you may get everything accomplished that you need to. Procrastination also leads to rushing, and rushing is the number one cause of errors.

6. Start with the most difficult subject first.

As your most diffult assignment or subject will require the most effort and mental energy you should start with it first. Once you've completed the most difficult work it will be much easy to complete the rest of your work. Believe it or not, starting with the most difficult work will greatly improve the effectiveness of your study sessions and your academic performance.

7. Alway review your notes before starting an assigment.

Obviously, before you can review your notes you must first have notes. Always make sure to take good notes in class. Before you start each study session and before you start a particular assignment review your notes thoroughly to make sure you know how to complete the assignment correctly.

8. Make sure you're not disturbed whiles you're studying

When you're disturbed while you're studying you (1) loose your train of thought and (2) you get distracted -- both of which will lead to very ineffective studying. Before you start studying find a place where you won't be disturbed.

9. Use study groups effectively

Ever heard the phrase "two heads are better than one"? Well this can be especially true when it comes to studying. Working in groups enables you to (1) get help from other students when you're struggling to understand a concept, (2) complete assignments more quickly, and (3) teach others whereby helping both the other student and yourselve to internalize the subject matter. However, study groups can become very ineffective if they're not structured and if groups members come unprepared. Effective students use study groups effectively.

10. Review your notes, schoolwork and other class materials over the weekend.

Successful students review what they've learned during the week over the weekend. This way they're well prepared to continue learning new concepts at the beginning of each week that build upon previous coursework and knowledge acquired the previous week.

We're confident that if you'll develop the habits outlined above that you'll see a major improvement in your academic success.

Taken from: http://www.educationcorner.com/habits-of-successful-students.html

AUGUST 11 - 15

How Teens Can Build Better Time Management and Study Skills

Getting good grades isn’t easy, and understanding how to make the best use of your time and effort takes careful planning. It also helps to be a strategic learner. That means you:

·         Plan how you are going to learn and manage your time in the process;

·         Use the skills you have to learn the task at hand;

·         Keep track of the progress you're making.

Time Management Skills

Developing a system for managing time can be the single most important step you take. The pressure of trying to stick to a schedule can be stressful. It may take great effort, help and practice to find a system that works for you. Start by asking yourself the following questions:

·         How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

·         What time of day am I most alert?

·         How long can I study in one sitting?

·         What types of things distract me the most?

·         What rewards can I give myself to stay motivated?

·         How long do my different commitments really take and how much leisure time can I expect to have?

Tips

·         Study for short periods of time and plan to reward yourself after completing a predetermined amount of reading, writing or reviewing. Take needed breaks and be sure to monitor the progress you are making along the way.

·         Try to develop a study routine, and select a preferred time and place to study. If it helps, change your routine each week and try different places to study. Be flexible, but also be sensitive to what works best for you.

·         Find ways to stay organized. For example, try using index cards and wall calendars. These simple tools can be quite helpful in helping you to arrange and manage your time. A large monthly wall calendar can be useful and you might consider making copies of your schedule on index cards that you can carry with you. If you prefer to use a computer, smartphone or tablet, there are numerous software programs available with built-in calendars and reminders. There are even watches available that have calendars that can be programmed.

·         To figure out how much time to set aside for long-term projects, first list all the steps required to complete the project. Next, estimate how much time you'll need to finish each step and then, count backward from the due date. Always allow more time than you think you will need for each step. If you are not sure about the project’s requirements, speak to the professor, teacher’s assistant, or learning specialist about how many steps are involved and what each step entails. This can give you a better sense of the time you'll need to finish the project. It also can help relieve some of the anxiety of the “unknown” in tackling a new project.

·         Keep the syllabuses for all of your courses in a place where they won’t get lost. Make extra copies, just in case. Make sure that you know the due dates for each assignment. Sometimes you can ask the professor to set interim due dates for you to turn in parts of the assignment. This can help you get each step done on time.

·         Build in a little extra time for unexpected problem-solving. Be prepared for projects to take longer than originally planned.

The main goal of time management should be to strike the right balance of work, academics and social activities. Smart planning will give you enough time for both work and play.

Taken from: http://www.ncld.org/students-disabilities/homework-study-skills/study-skills-teens

AUGUST 6-8

START A SUCCESSFUL SCHOOL YEAR—AND KEEP IT GOING!

“Education is not the filling a pail but the lighting of a fire.”—William Butler Yeats, poet

Whether you’ve experienced sending your child back-to-school once—or several times—or you’re sending your child back-to-school for the first time, planning and preparation are always essential elements in a successful transition from summer vacation to a full-fledged school routine. How are you helping your kids make the transition to school? Let us help you start a successful school year—and keep it going!

FOR ALL PARENTS

• Make a big deal about going back to school. When kids see how much you value education, they’re more likely to get excited about school.

• Begin helping your child get into a school routine. Have predictable bed times, meal times, and wake-up times. Talk about the importance of daily routines to do well in school.

• If your school offers a “meet your teacher” or “back-to-school open house,” plan on attending with your child. These are important events that allow kids, teachers, and parents to interact.

• Be clear about what you expect. Talk with your child about the upcoming school year. Set goals together. Throughout the year, see how those goals are coming along. Expect your child to do his or her best.

• Print out the school lunch menu. (Most are available online through your school’s web site.) Talk about the importance of choosing healthy foods.

• Create a back-to-school budget and stick with it. Parents and kids often have different ideas about “school necessities.” A recent Capital One survey found that 25 percent of teenagers say that they need an e-reader, iPod, computer, cell phone or smart phone for school. A much smaller percentage of parents agree.

• Plan a family dinner or gathering to celebrate the beginning of a new school year. Aunts, uncles, grandmothers, cousins, and neighbors make great resources for help with certain school subjects.

FOR PARENTS WITH CHILDREN AGES 10–15

• It’s okay if your child seems more interested in seeing friends at school than doing schoolwork. Friendships are important, but also emphasize the value of learning and doing your best.

• Pay attention to how your child reacts to going back to school. Some are excited. Some dread it. Some are apprehensive. Ask questions to learn more about how your child is feeling.

• Encourage your child to not worry when entering middle school or junior high and needing to move from classroom to classroom. This is a big change for kids at this age. During the first week of school, most schools are flexible so that kids can figure out how to do this. Some schools offer a “run through” right before school starts. If so, have your child do this. It builds their confidence and lowers their stress levels.

FOR PARENTS WITH CHILDREN AGES 16–18

• By this age, teenagers often have a clearer idea of what they want to accomplish during the school year. Talk with them about their overall schedule: their classes, their activities, their jobs. Work together to create a schedule that isn’t too lax—or too demanding.

• Contact teachers directly about important school supplies. Many math and science classes require an expensive (more than $100) calculator. Ask if that calculator can be used throughout high school. Sometimes buying a TI-84 or a TI-89 calculator instead of the required TI-83 calculator will save you a lot of money over the course of your teenager’s high school career. Be clear, however, about who pays for the calculator before it gets lost.

• Be particularly sensitive to the demands of sophomore, junior, and senior year. The stresses are different, and teens can respond to stress in different ways. Continue to emphasize the value of your teenager doing his or her best.

TAKEN FROM: http://www.parentfurther.com/resources/newsletter/start-successful-school-year-and-keep-it-going