Welcome back!!!
Progress Reports:
were sent home on Friday, September 11. It is very important that you read and
discuss this report with your child. Reports need to come back to school with
your signature. If you need to set up appointments, please do not hesitate to
contact the school for assistance.
This
article is very interesting and it is related to grades.
Why You Shouldn’t Pay Children for Grades
By AMY MCCREADY,
The New York Times
“My kid’s
job is school. So why shouldn’t I pay her for good grades? After all, I get
paid for the work I do.”
As someone
who works with parents, I hear that a lot, and as a parent of two teenage boys
myself, I completely understand. We have high hopes for our kids when it comes
to their future—meaning, at a minimum, that we’d rather they not live in our
basement into their thirties. We desperately need a way to get our children’s
minds off the latest video game and onto their algebra test, so we promise a
cash reward or a new toy for performance.
But no
matter how much we want it to, money can’t buy smarts, motivation or school
success.
In fact,
it can’t even buy good grades for very long. Though you may see initial
improvement, numerous studies have shown that
over time, rewards dampen excitement about a task — exactly the opposite of
what we’re going for.
Rewards
also foster a “what’s in it for me?” attitude. If the reward is money for good
grades, it sends the message that the reason to work hard in school is to
enrich your wallet rather than your mind. It also puts the burden on parents to
continue dangling carrots in front of their children as motivation. And if the
child doesn’t enjoy history, is a $20 payout required rather than the standard
$5 for an A?
Children
who are rewarded for good grades start to feel entitled to a payout, which robs
them of the ability to cultivate a love of learning and a sense of
responsibility for their own education. That A grade we paid dearly for
actually does nothing to guarantee the future success we’re banking on.
Instead, parents need to help their children develop the school skills they
need to succeed now and down the road. No-bribe strategies like these work:
Put
studies before screen time. While a
few children may beg to be quizzed on their spelling, most need a push to pick
up good study habits. Stick to a consistent, no-excuses, “When-Then” schoolwork
routine. Tell your children, for example, “When your homework is done,
including reviewing for upcoming tests, then you may enjoy your media time for
the day.”
Refuse to
rescue If you
have a frequent forgetter, it may be time to institute a No-Rescue Policy when
it comes to homework. Tell children in upper elementary school or above:
“You’re really growing up, and you’re old enough now to manage your own
homework. I’ll no longer be reminding you about homework or delivering it to
you at school if you forget it. Now, what are your ideas for keeping track of
your assignments?” Set them up for success and then put the ball squarely in
their court, even allowing them to fail. They will reap greater rewards from learning
important life lessons about responsibility than from any cash payment.
Emphasize
the action, not the A When
commending your children, use encouraging words that focus on the effort or
behavior that led to a good result, rather than the result itself. So if you
see your 14-year-old studying her biology notes every night before a test, say:
“You’ve really worked hard to prepare for your test. You must be proud of your
effort.” If she gets a good grade, use the opportunity to highlight her hard
work rather than the outcome. And if she doesn’t? Encourage her to keep trying,
and remind her that persistence will pay off in the long run.
Be
helpful, but not too helpful If “Mom, I
need help!” is code for “Mom, please do it for me!” it may be time to establish
a Help Policy. Tell your children, “I’m happy to help with homework between
6:30 and 8, and only after you’ve completed everything you know how to do and
you can explain your thought process for the questions you can’t figure out.”
Make it
their job — not yours Not every
child is going to be the head of their class, and chances are they’re not going
to follow in our footsteps or pursue all the dreams we have for them. While it
may seem like parental misconduct to let our children take age-appropriate responsibility
for their own education (and fail sometimes, too) letting children manage their
own homework, studies and grades, for better or worse, is the best way to
prepare them to navigate life’s ups and downs and become who they want to be.
Our
children’s success, on their terms, is not something we can put a price on.
Paying for grades without helping children cultivate life skills like
dedication and accountability will only prepare them to rely on payouts and
other external motivating factors down the road. Instead, when we inspire a
love of learning, cultivate good habits and allow them to plot their own
course, they will truly flourish.
Amy McCready is the Founder of PositiveParentingSolutions.com and the author of “The “Me, Me, Me” Epidemic – A Step-by-Step Guide to
Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World.”
Taken from:
http://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/parenting/2015/09/13/why-you-shouldnt-pay-children-for-grades/?module=BlogPost-Title&version=Blog+Main&contentCollection=Back-to-School&action=Click&pgtype=Blogs®ion=Body&xid=soc_socialflow_facebook_realsimple&_r=0&referrer=
