MARCH 12 - 16

Emotional Growth and Transition (Tweens 8 – 12 years)

The "Tween Years" are filled with many changes in your child. Knowing what to expect from one moment to the next can be a guessing game! You may notice changes in your child's thinking as well as many physical changes. Children in the "Tween Years" are emotionally transitioning from a time when they are focused on school, athletic activities and peer acceptance. They have received a lot of feedback about their abilities from their peers and teachers. Physically they are moving beyond participating in moderately physical activities that are organized and governed by rules (i.e. little league baseball, midget football, cub scouts).

So what are children at this particular developmental level moving toward? You may notice that your child is now able to think in the abstract. For example, he or she may be able to understand how a model car should be put together without actually having to see the instructions. Your "tween" may also see himself or herself as a social object, which may lead to increased anxiety. He or she may begin to notice and act differently around peers of the opposite gender. With regard to physical development, children at this age are able to manipulate smaller items; however, they may do so in unconventional ways in order to test a variety of ideas.

Keep in mind that the characteristics we have discussed are typical of children in the "Tween Years." They may exhibit behavior that falls above or below the average for their age group and still be perfectly normal.

 Taken from the Boys Town Before and After School Workshop (Pages 4-5 of the participant workbook) Adapted from: Santrock, J.W. (1999). Life Span Development, 7th Edition, The McGraw- Hill Companies, Inc., Boston

http://parenting.org/article/emotional-growth-and-transition

Uncommunicative Teenager (Adolescence/Teens 13-18 years)

Q- Many days I feel like I am talking to a brick wall when communicating with my teen. And those are the good days when I actually get the chance to talk with her.  How do I break down this barrier?

Answer: 

A- When children reach their teen years, they start doing things that they never have done before. They pull away from their parents and get upset when their parents try to talk with them. They are no longer the sweet little children who hung on their parents’ every word. The good news is that this is normal. The only thing you can do is to keep trying. Persistence is key.

Talking with your children is very important. It is important to stay current on what they are doing and with whom they are doing it. You must be creative and find ways to stay involved, even if that means making a required designated family time each day. It can be an evening meal, a Wednesday game night, Sunday brunch or a Thursday movie night. Whatever works for you, make it mandatory for all family members. No excuses.

During these family nights, conversation will flow. Casually ask questions about your children’s day or what is going on in their lives. One child may be quieter than others. If this is the case, one-on-one activities may be necessary to get communication flowing. Make these events enjoyable, not pressured.

If you suspect that your child is hiding something from you, monitor his or her interactions with their peers. As a parent, you have every right to investigate. You are not invading their privacy. You are doing your job, which is to ensure their safety. Monitor texting on cell phones and their Facebook pages. Have access to their passwords. If they refuse, take the privilege away. Cell phones, e-mail and Facebook are not rights. If they don’t have anything to hide, they should not refuse to show you.  

http://parenting.org/article/emotional-growth-and-transition