SEPTEMBER 28 - OCTOBER 2

The Recipe for How to Discipline Kids

By: Nancy Jergins

While I was in the checkout line at the grocery store the other day, I started thumbing through a magazine that gives tips for getting the most out of recipes. In one article, a photo showed two stacks of pancakes. One stack was inches taller than the other, even though both stacks had the same number of pancakes. The caption said that the shorter stack had been overmixed, and that had made the pancakes less fluffy.

Don’t ask me why, but it made me think about how that applied to raising children, and the best recipe for how to discipline kids. Specifically, it got me thinking about how we sometimes overmix, or over discipline our children. We have good intentions and want our children to be their best, but we overmix—too much scolding, too many rules, too many consequences. Pretty soon, our kids, like the flat pancakes, aren’t able to reach their potential.

Here’s how to find the right ingredients in the right amount for the recipe for how to discipline kids.

What goes into a recipe pretty much determines your result. But the amount of ingredients you use is right up there in importance. Same goes with parenting. You need good ingredients in the right amounts.

Love.

You can never add too much love to your discipline recipe. In fact, without love, the other ingredients don’t even matter. Love is what motivates us to make good choices for our children.  It helps us to hold our tongue when we want to lose our temper with them. It helps us move forward with tough choices because we know it will help our children in the long run. Love isn’t indulgence, by the way. All discipline should be mixed with love.

Rules.

Children really do want boundaries. Rules and boundaries give your children something to shoot for so that they can earn your approval. Child discipline without rules isn’t really fair because your children don’t know where they stand. On the other hand, too many rules can rob a child of the opportunity to learn things for himself. So instead of constantly reminding your children of specific things not to do, give them general rules — We don’t say words that hurt others’ feelings. Once they have those general guidelines, let them figure out how to live within them.

Consequences.

Yes, there should be consequences for misbehavior. But not all misbehavior is the same. Our Consequence Calculator can help you figure out just the right consequence and the right amount. You’ll also want to show your children grace when you can. If your child keeps making the same mistake over and over, try to be patient. If you have given a consequence more than once that day, try talking to your child instead. If they’re old enough, go a little deeper and give her the reason for your rules and your consequence.

“Sarah, I love you so much that I can’t let you have a temper tantrum when you don’t get your way. I’ve put you in time out twice already today, and I will keep doing that until you can choose a different response when you’re angry. But for now, come here so I can hug you. I know you want to do what’s right, and I know you can.”

Firmness.

A friend of mine feels that yelling is an effective way to discipline her children. She thinks it shows them she means business. Well, while it might get their attention, it’s an ineffective way to get lasting results. Harshness puts a barrier between mom and child. There is no need for harshness in a positive discipline recipe. Firmness, on the other hand, shows the child that mom is serious about getting to the heart of the discipline problem. So be sure you know the difference between firmness and harshness.

Conversation.

I was talking to a 10-year-old girl the other day in a class setting. The topic was getting blamed for something that wasn’t your fault. “When I try to tell my mom and dad my side of the story, they get mad.” She shook her head for emphasis and said, “I’ll never try to do that again!”

There are times when our children need to do what we say without any talking back or argument. For example, if we’ve already discussed the issue and given a consequence, they need to obey without dragging us into a back and forth heated discussion. But when we can give our children a chance to share in the conversation while we are disciplining them, we should let them talk, if they can do it respectfully.

Dr. Scott Turansky says older children should be able to earn the right to a “wise appeal.” By letting our children have a voice, it shows them that we value their opinion and that we’re reasonable. So add conversation to your recipe for how to discipline your kids, when you can.

Taken from: http://www.imom.com/the-recipe-for-how-to-discipline-kids/#.VgMEPNJViko

SEPTEMBER 21 - 25

Avoid raising an entitled child: 5 strategies that really work

Amy McCready

TODAY Contributor

You may have seen it, or felt it — that phenomenon that seems to have taken over kids in recent years and turned them into entitled, me-centric beings? I call it the "The Me, Me, Me Epidemic," and believe it or not, it happens in tiny little ways every single day when we're not conscious of it. The good news? It is totally curable!

We've all known kids (maybe even in our own families) who feel entitled to have things go their way, who expect the best of life without rolling up their sleeves and for whom gratitude is not a part of their attitude. While these kids can be hard to live with now, over-entitled kids eventually become high-maintenance employees and demanding spouses with the same childish attitudes, only on a greater scale. It's a big problem, because kids who feel entitled to call the shots all the time are unable to handle it when things don't go their way (like here in the real world).

While we can point fingers and blame social media, reality TV, and a host of other outside influences, one of the biggest factors in the spread of this "epidemic" is us — the parents. Of course, we want the best for our kids and none of us intends to raise an entitled child, but often in our loving attempts to do the best for our kids, we over-parent. We over-indulge, over-praise and mow down any obstacle in their path with ninja-like swiftness. And when we do? We rob kids of the opportunity to do for themselves, learn from mistakes, or overcome adversity. For your sake and for your kids, consider these five strategies for turning the tide:

1.      Expect more: Give your kids some credit. They can and SHOULD make meaningful contributions to the family. Expect your toddlers to teens to do Family Contributions (not "chores") on a daily basis and expect them to take on increasing amounts of responsibility through the years. After all, they are part of the family and everyone's contributions matter. When you hold your kids to a higher standard, they WILL meet it — and often exceed it. What they'll get in return will be life skills they need to head out into the world as happier, more successful and self-sufficient human beings. And you? You get to know that you helped to make that happen. (Way to go!)

2.      Give up on giving in: Do you ever say YES when you really want to say No? Cave at the candy counter at checkout? Pacify with the treat when your kid is throwing a fit? It's time to turn over a new leaf and have the courage to say "NO" and mean it! You'll teach your kids that life won't always go their way and that's OK. You'll be establishing — and sticking — to healthy boundaries. And your little ones and big ones will learn that fit-throwing, eye-rolling, and pouting isn't going to do the trick. Now, for all of you who struggle with this — repeat after me: I'm NOT being a bad guy — I'm being a good PARENT. You can do this!

3.      Hand over the reins. Every time we rescue our kids from their mistakes, intervene on their behalf, or smooth the way so things are easier for them, we rob them of a learning opportunity — the chance to be responsible, to figure it out for themselves, or to face a scary situation. Little by little they just stop trying. It's time to hand over the reins to their rightful owner. Instead of rushing the homework to school so your kids don't get in trouble, let them know with love (and plenty of training so they can be successful) that it's their responsibility to remember what they need each day. Let them know that having their own conversations with teachers, coaches and peers about issues that arise is powerful part of growing up. You can help prepare them by role-playing so THEY can have respectful conversations and learn problem-solving skills. Trust in your kids' ability and turn over the reins so they can learn from their successes and failures. You'll be there to support them — but they'll feel so much more empowered by handling things on their own without you intervening or rescuing.

4.      Shut down the ATM. This is a big one. Instant gratification is king in today's society. "I want it, I get it. Now." The best way to fight this phenomenon with our kids is to stop handing over $20 whenever they ask for it. Instead, set a specific allowance amount per week and a list of expenses your child is now responsible to cover. Little kids can use allowance for "treats" when they go to the store, big kids can be responsible for school lunches, school clothing and entertainment. Allowance is an essential tool to teach delayed gratification and fiscal responsibility — how to spend wisely, save, budget, and give charitably. How will our kids be successful with a real paycheck and bigger expenses if they don't learn those important life skills at home? Teach them the tools and help them flourish.

5.      Un-center their universe. The research is clear that those with an "attitude of gratitude" in life are happier, less depressed, take stress in stride, and see life with a healthy optimism. In our over-indulged culture, we know that gratitude takes practice. It's something we have to teach our kids. Model for them and let them know the world doesn't OWE anyone anything — and that we all have to do our part to make it a better place. Help kids learn to appreciate their first-world circumstances, (without lecturing about starving kids in Third World countries). When you practice daily gratitude rituals at home, actively seek to do random acts of kindness, and find opportunities to serve others throughout the year (not just during the holidays) — you are helping to set your children and your family on the path to a much more rewarding life.

Video: http://www.today.com/video/to-raise-unentitled-kids-expect-more-from-them-527298627618

Taken from: http://www.today.com/parents/great-give-when-parents-contribute-their-kids-entitlement-t44306

SEPTEMBER 14 - 18

Welcome back!!!

Progress Reports: were sent home on Friday, September 11. It is very important that you read and discuss this report with your child. Reports need to come back to school with your signature. If you need to set up appointments, please do not hesitate to contact the school for assistance.

This article is very interesting and it is related to grades.

Why You Shouldn’t Pay Children for Grades

By AMY MCCREADY, The New York Times

“My kid’s job is school. So why shouldn’t I pay her for good grades? After all, I get paid for the work I do.”

As someone who works with parents, I hear that a lot, and as a parent of two teenage boys myself, I completely understand. We have high hopes for our kids when it comes to their future—meaning, at a minimum, that we’d rather they not live in our basement into their thirties. We desperately need a way to get our children’s minds off the latest video game and onto their algebra test, so we promise a cash reward or a new toy for performance.

But no matter how much we want it to, money can’t buy smarts, motivation or school success.

In fact, it can’t even buy good grades for very long. Though you may see initial improvement, numerous studies have shown that over time, rewards dampen excitement about a task — exactly the opposite of what we’re going for.

Rewards also foster a “what’s in it for me?” attitude. If the reward is money for good grades, it sends the message that the reason to work hard in school is to enrich your wallet rather than your mind. It also puts the burden on parents to continue dangling carrots in front of their children as motivation. And if the child doesn’t enjoy history, is a $20 payout required rather than the standard $5 for an A?

Children who are rewarded for good grades start to feel entitled to a payout, which robs them of the ability to cultivate a love of learning and a sense of responsibility for their own education. That A grade we paid dearly for actually does nothing to guarantee the future success we’re banking on. Instead, parents need to help their children develop the school skills they need to succeed now and down the road. No-bribe strategies like these work:

Put studies before screen time. While a few children may beg to be quizzed on their spelling, most need a push to pick up good study habits. Stick to a consistent, no-excuses, “When-Then” schoolwork routine. Tell your children, for example, “When your homework is done, including reviewing for upcoming tests, then you may enjoy your media time for the day.”

Refuse to rescue If you have a frequent forgetter, it may be time to institute a No-Rescue Policy when it comes to homework. Tell children in upper elementary school or above: “You’re really growing up, and you’re old enough now to manage your own homework. I’ll no longer be reminding you about homework or delivering it to you at school if you forget it. Now, what are your ideas for keeping track of your assignments?” Set them up for success and then put the ball squarely in their court, even allowing them to fail. They will reap greater rewards from learning important life lessons about responsibility than from any cash payment.

Emphasize the action, not the A When commending your children, use encouraging words that focus on the effort or behavior that led to a good result, rather than the result itself. So if you see your 14-year-old studying her biology notes every night before a test, say: “You’ve really worked hard to prepare for your test. You must be proud of your effort.” If she gets a good grade, use the opportunity to highlight her hard work rather than the outcome. And if she doesn’t? Encourage her to keep trying, and remind her that persistence will pay off in the long run.

Be helpful, but not too helpful If “Mom, I need help!” is code for “Mom, please do it for me!” it may be time to establish a Help Policy. Tell your children, “I’m happy to help with homework between 6:30 and 8, and only after you’ve completed everything you know how to do and you can explain your thought process for the questions you can’t figure out.”

Make it their job — not yours Not every child is going to be the head of their class, and chances are they’re not going to follow in our footsteps or pursue all the dreams we have for them. While it may seem like parental misconduct to let our children take age-appropriate responsibility for their own education (and fail sometimes, too) letting children manage their own homework, studies and grades, for better or worse, is the best way to prepare them to navigate life’s ups and downs and become who they want to be.

Our children’s success, on their terms, is not something we can put a price on. Paying for grades without helping children cultivate life skills like dedication and accountability will only prepare them to rely on payouts and other external motivating factors down the road. Instead, when we inspire a love of learning, cultivate good habits and allow them to plot their own course, they will truly flourish.

Amy McCready is the Founder of PositiveParentingSolutions.com and the author of “The “Me, Me, Me” Epidemic – A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World.”

Taken from:

http://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/parenting/2015/09/13/why-you-shouldnt-pay-children-for-grades/?module=BlogPost-Title&version=Blog+Main&contentCollection=Back-to-School&action=Click&pgtype=Blogs&region=Body&xid=soc_socialflow_facebook_realsimple&_r=0&referrer=

September 7 - 11

DATES  AND EVENTS TO REMEMBER:

MIDTERMS – September 8 is midterm for Quarter 1.

Progress reports will be distributed to students on the morning of Friday, September 11, before the Independence Day festivities begin. Please discuss it with your child and send it back to school signed.

if you need to talk to a teacher, regarding your child´s progress, please do not hesitate to email or call the school.

MAP TESTS – We will begin this year’s Fall testing session on Tuesday, September 16. 

A schedule has been posted on the NEWS BOARD on the second floor of the secondary building.

We ask for our parents’ cooperation in making sure their children are in school on the day of the MAP test.

INDEPENDENCE DAY CELEBRATION – Please mark your calendars for the Honduran Independence Day Celebration on the morning of Friday, September 11. The activities of this day will be broken down as follows:

8:00 – 8:50 a.m. Desayuno Tipico (each homeroom teacher will organize a typical Honduran potluck lunch for the students.)

9:00 – 10:00 a.m. Cultural Presentations (teachers and students will come to the gym to enjoy a diverse set of Honduran presentations)

10:00 – 11:30 a.m. Honduran Traditional Games (Secondary students will host stations of traditional games for the Early Childhood and Elementary students.)

*Please take note that:

a) We are encouraging students to wear jeans and a Honduran or white t-shirt on this day.

b) This is an early dismissal day. 

CHANGES IN THE OCTOBER HOLIDAYS – We have received official word that a decree was issued in Congress changing the October holidays to October 7, 8, and 9. We will be complying and changing the holidays.