Friday, March 9, 2012

MARCH 12 - 16


Emotional Growth and Transition (Tweens 8 – 12 years)
The "Tween Years" are filled with many changes in your child. Knowing what to expect from one moment to the next can be a guessing game! You may notice changes in your child's thinking as well as many physical changes. Children in the "Tween Years" are emotionally transitioning from a time when they are focused on school, athletic activities and peer acceptance. They have received a lot of feedback about their abilities from their peers and teachers. Physically they are moving beyond participating in moderately physical activities that are organized and governed by rules (i.e. little league baseball, midget football, cub scouts).
So what are children at this particular developmental level moving toward? You may notice that your child is now able to think in the abstract. For example, he or she may be able to understand how a model car should be put together without actually having to see the instructions. Your "tween" may also see himself or herself as a social object, which may lead to increased anxiety. He or she may begin to notice and act differently around peers of the opposite gender. With regard to physical development, children at this age are able to manipulate smaller items; however, they may do so in unconventional ways in order to test a variety of ideas.
Keep in mind that the characteristics we have discussed are typical of children in the "Tween Years." They may exhibit behavior that falls above or below the average for their age group and still be perfectly normal.
 Taken from the Boys Town Before and After School Workshop (Pages 4-5 of the participant workbook) Adapted from: Santrock, J.W. (1999). Life Span Development, 7th Edition, The McGraw- Hill Companies, Inc., Boston
Uncommunicative Teenager (Adolescence/Teens 13-18 years)
Q- Many days I feel like I am talking to a brick wall when communicating with my teen. And those are the good days when I actually get the chance to talk with her.  How do I break down this barrier?
Answer: 
A- When children reach their teen years, they start doing things that they never have done before. They pull away from their parents and get upset when their parents try to talk with them. They are no longer the sweet little children who hung on their parents’ every word. The good news is that this is normal. The only thing you can do is to keep trying. Persistence is key.

Talking with your children is very important. It is important to stay current on what they are doing and with whom they are doing it. You must be creative and find ways to stay involved, even if that means making a required designated family time each day. It can be an evening meal, a Wednesday game night, Sunday brunch or a Thursday movie night. Whatever works for you, make it mandatory for all family members. No excuses.

During these family nights, conversation will flow. Casually ask questions about your children’s day or what is going on in their lives. One child may be quieter than others. If this is the case, one-on-one activities may be necessary to get communication flowing. Make these events enjoyable, not pressured.

If you suspect that your child is hiding something from you, monitor his or her interactions with their peers. As a parent, you have every right to investigate. You are not invading their privacy. You are doing your job, which is to ensure their safety. Monitor texting on cell phones and their Facebook pages. Have access to their passwords. If they refuse, take the privilege away. Cell phones, e-mail and Facebook are not rights. If they don’t have anything to hide, they should not refuse to show you.  

Monday, March 5, 2012

MARCH 5 - 9


The Wonders of Reality Discipline
This clever discipline method is less exhausting and more successful than ranting, raving, blaming, pleading, begging or threatening.
I once read a newspaper headline that made me chuckle: "Red Lipstick Empowers Women." The caption, coupled with a photo of Marilyn Monroe wearing a white flowing dress and painted crimson lips, made me think that perhaps I'd found the answer to the discipline problems with my elementary students.That's been my problem all along  I've been wearing champagne pink!
Wouldn't it be wonderful if changing lipstick was all it took to become more effective and empowered in handling discipline problems with children?
While child psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman is an out-of-the-box parenting problem solver who might buy into the lipstick method if it worked, Dr. Leman instead teaches parents about the effective "Reality Discipline." This clever method of getting little "ankle biters" to obey is less exhausting and more successful than ranting, raving, blaming, pleading, begging or threatening.
It's all about responsibility
The first thing to remember about Reality Discipline is that you want your children to learn to think for themselves and learn to become more responsible through guidance and action-oriented techniques. In an article from First Things First, Dr. Leman says, "Action-oriented discipline is based on the reality that there are times when you have to pull the rug out and let the little buzzards tumble. I mean disciplining your children in such a way that he/she accepts responsibility and learns accountability for his actions." Here's an example.
When my brother was in high school, my mother implemented Reality Discipline without realizing it. My little brother, Gannon, could sleep through a tornado (or a hurricane or tsunami) and my mother was tired of waking him up every morning and saying, "You'd better hurry, or you're going to miss the bus." Finally, Mom thought, I'm not waking him up anymore. He can be late. Just as she suspected, Gannon did miss the bus and was forced to walk the mile to school. Much to my mother's delight, he was never late again. She didn't have to beg, plead, give him ultimatums or nag Gannon one more time. Instead, she let reality do the discipline.
A little bit of ice cream can do the trick
One afternoon, I had the privilege of listening to Dr. Leman explain on the radio how reality discipline teaches responsibility. He told an engaging story about a mother whose preschool son was driving her bananas because every day when she stopped to pick him up from preschool, he ran from her on the playground. She felt like a fool for being outrun by a preschooler while teachers and parents looked on. Desperate, she asked Dr. Leman for advice.
Dr. Leman suggested that if her son ran from her next time, she should ask another adult on the playground if they would be kind enough to keep an eye on her son for a few minutes. Then she should drive away, go to the nearest ice cream shop, purchase a cone for herself and drive back to the school to pick up her son. Then, when her little guy got in the car and asked, "Where's my ice cream?" he told the woman she should cheerfully say, "Well you could have had some ice cream, but you ran away; so I had to go get some alone."
One point for mom; zero for Junior. That's Reality Discipline. No ranting. No raving. No warnings. Just cool, collected action with some quick, clever thinking to make your point loud and clear.
Sounds great, right? Here are some basic principles of Reality Discipline to help you get (and keep) the upper hand with your kids.
Don't focus on creating a happy child
In his book Have a New Kid by Friday, Dr. Leman says that the goal of parenting is not to create happy kids; rather, it's to create responsible kids. This means Junior will probably be pretty unhappy that he didn't get an ice cream cone; he may even throw a fit, and rant and rave — but he will become more responsible and respectful. Don't back down, but do stay cool as a cucumber. Remind yourself that it's a battle of the wits and the wills, and you will win.
Understand your child's reality
According to Dr Leman, if you want to use Reality Discipline effectively, you need to know what's important to your child — what really moves him in his reality. Your child may value money, sports, a daily cookie break, staying up late or spending time with friends. Parents who know how to use Reality Discipline make creative connections between bad behavior and discipline through action rather than through warnings, nagging or threats.
For example, suppose you ask your ten-year-old daughter (who loves saving money) to take out the trash. She ignores you, and thirty minutes later the trash is still sitting by the back door. With a little creativity, you decide to implement some Reality Discipline. Instead of reminding your daughter about the trash, you enlist her younger sister to take it out . Then you take some money out of your ten-year-old daughter's allowance and give it to her sister for a job well done. Can you imagine the peace and satisfaction that could come from being such a quick-witted parent?
Note: If you want to use Reality Discipline, you have to listen to your child. Then you'll know what will move him to responsibility. The more you understand what's important to him, the more ammunition you'll have in your arsenal to "train up" your child in the way he should go.
Make sure that Reality Discipline is grounded in love
In Have a New Kid by Friday, Dr. Leman writes, "Show me a mean teacher, and I'll show you a good one." If you find that you are a permissive parent who is afraid of "pulling the rug out from under your child" as Dr. Leman suggests, remember that Reality Discipline is not unkind. Instead, when it's motivated by love to help your child mature into a responsible adult, it's a very good gift.
Copyright © 2008 Shana Schutte. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

Taken from: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/effective_biblical_discipline/why_kids_misbehave/the_wonders_of_reality_discipline.aspx

Monday, February 27, 2012

February 27 - March 2


Tips for Parents: What You Can do to Reverse Underachievement in The Classroom

Siegle, D. & McCoach, D.B. 
Davidson Institute for Talent Development 
2004 

This Tips for Parents article is from a seminar hosted by Del Siegle and D. Betsy McCoach. It includes a summary of tips and strategies on helping underachieving students to become achievement-oriented individuals. The authors include a discussion of the psychology and rationale for each tip. 
All individuals have the ability to learn and attain self-fulfillment, however many young people are at risk of failing to achieve their academic potential. Gifted students are one group of exceptional learners who are not normally considered at risk for academic failure. However, the underachievement of academically gifted students is an area of concern and frustration for many parents, teachers, and counselors. Why do some students, who seem capable of outstanding performance, fail to realize their potential? What causes some gifted students to underachieve in school? Can we predict which gifted students are at the greatest risk for underachievement? What can we do to reverse a student's academic underachievement?
While there are many factors that contribute to achievement, students who are achievement-oriented appear to exhibit three key perceptions and a behavior. First, and foremost, they find value in their school experience. School is meaningful. They enjoy what they are doing or believe that what they are doing will produce beneficial outcomes. Second, they believe that they have the skills to be successful. Third, they trust their environment and expect that they can succeed in it. When students have positive attitudes in each of these three areas, they are more likely to produce self-regulated behavior. Self-regulated learners set realistic expectations and implement appropriate strategies for academic success. Some of these four components may play a stronger influence than others, but overall, we believe that achievement-oriented individuals possess some combination of them.
Valuing Academic Tasks
First and foremost, students must value academics. "When students value a task, they will be more likely to engage in it, expend more effort on it, and do better on it" (Wigfield, 1994, p. 102). Students who do not value the goals of school do not find any purpose in what they are learning, they don't see any pay-off for learning it, and they're not interested in learning it, so they turn off and tune out. The following are some minor modifications that will increase the task value of activities for students:
·         Encourage and promote your students' interests and passions.
·         Help students to see beyond the immediate activity to the long-term outcomes. A school assignment may seem unimportant, but pursuing a dream career may be an outcome that your student is willing to strive toward. Parents and educators may wish to share how they use various skills learned in school.
·         Help students to set short and long-term academic goals. Small, short-term goals work better for younger students. It is essential that the goals are meaningful to students. Talk with them about possible goals. Remember, goals that adults value may have little meaning to children.
·         Students are more likely to become engaged with material that is optimally challenging. Ensure that all students are challenged (but not frustrated) by classroom activities.

Self-Efficacy
Young people must also believe they have the skills to perform the task. Self-efficacy refers to individuals' judgment of their capacity to perform specific activities. The perceptions students have about their skills influence the types of activities they select, how much they challenge themselves at those activities, and the persistence they exhibit once they are involved in the activities (Bandura, 1986).
Students need to believe that they have the skills to be successful. This can be accomplished by helping them recognize the skills that they have developed. Two factors need to be present: First, they must believe they have the skills to do well and second, they must be aware that they didn't always have those skills (the skills were something they developed).
The way we compliment young people has an impact on how successful they perceive themselves. It is important to be specific with comments. A general compliment such as "Good work" does not carry the weight of something more specific such as "You really know your threes times tables." The latter provides more information about what has been performed well. The student will likely reflect on the comment and think, "Yes, I am good at threes." Students are able to better cognitively appraise their progress when feedback is specific or when we've helped them be aware of specific things they do well. Of course, compliments must be genuine and earned. Complimenting children for tasks that they did not perform well or for unchallenging tasks can be counterproductive and diminish their trust.
In addition to helping students recognize the skills they have, you need to help them understand that their abilities are not strictly innate. Dweck (1975) demonstrated that students who believe abilities can be developed and are not fixed are more likely to attempt challenging tasks and persevere more in the face of difficulties than students who believe abilities are innate. When we discuss a student's achievement with him/her, we ought to mention specific skills he/she has developed by drawing attention to the skill and to its development. We need to balance the role effort and ability play. This can easily be accomplished by recognizing the skill as something the student developed (without drawing undue attention to the effort used). For example, "Look at how well you've learned your threes tables" is more effective than "You are good at your threes tables." The word "learned" indicates that this is a skill that didn't always exist and implies that future skills can also be acquired.
Environmental Perceptions
Students who view their environment as friendly and one that will provide positive outcomes are more likely to demonstrate achievement-oriented behavior. It is not enough to be confident that they have certain skills, they must expect that they will succeed if they put forth effort. Rathvon (1996) hypothesized that, "The underachiever's failure to assume responsibility arises from his unconscious belief that his own efforts do not affect the events or individuals in his world" (p. 66).
Student's perceptions of the friendliness of the environment may or may not be accurate. The first step is to determine whether students' perceptions are distorted. If they are not, then changes need to be made in the environment. These changes must be implemented with input from the student. For example, if a child feels it is too noisy to study at home, ask the child what needs to be done to make it quiet enough. It may be as simple as asking, "What would it take for you do well?" Students must be involved in helping find solutions to the environmental roadblocks they perceive.
Self-Regulation
The factors of task value, self-efficacy, and environmental perceptions are critical to being motivated. But being motivated may not be sufficient. Students must be engaged in and complete the task. They may feel that math is important, believe that they can do well in mathematics, and like their school and teachers, but they do not follow through and execute the math assignment.
Many gifted students may lack the self-management strategies of time management and study skills. Because gifted students often progress through the early years of school without being challenged, they sometimes fail to develop the self-management skills that other students master. In the early grades, good memory and fast processing skills can compensate for note taking and other study skills. Often, educators attempt to teach students study skills before students need those skills to be successful. This process usually frustrates both the teachers and the students. Self-regulatory skills are more likely to be internalized when they are needed to solve the problem at hand. A solution to the problem is to provide gifted students with an academically challenging curriculum early, and throughout their school careers.
Another aspect of self-regulation involves setting personal standards. Some students may feel that what they are doing is "good enough." If students haven't been academically challenged in the past, they may believe they can achieve satisfactory results with very little effort. Gifted students may also underachieve to hide their need for perfectionism.
The third category of self-regulation is self-monitoring. These skills include monitoring distractibility, practicing delayed gratification, and awareness of performance avoidance.
·         Encourage students to pursue excellence, rather than perfection. Adults can model acceptance of their mistakes while striving for excellence. Gifted students should not be expected, or expect, to complete every task, in every area, with 100% accuracy.
·         Help students plan tasks. This serves two functions. First, it develops a mindset that the task is doable. Young people are often reluctant to begin a task because they are unsure how to begin. Second, it minimizes the unknown. Through planning, children can visualize a task coming to fruition.
·         Help students set realistic expectations. This involves setting goals that are difficult enough to be challenging, yet not so difficult as to be unachievable and discouraging. Learning occurs best when new material cannot be mastered without assistance, but can be mastered with minor direction from someone more knowledgeable (Vygotsky, 1939/1962).
Much that motivates young people is still a mystery. The suggestions presented in this article provide insights into some strategies that promote achievement-orientation. Adults can support students and encourage them to pursue their interests and passions. With a little effort, educators and parents can help students to see that what they are doing serves a purpose, to believe they have the skills to perform well, to trust that their environments will encourage their productivity, and to set realistic expectations for themselves. Early encouragement of achievement-oriented behaviors is a major step toward helping young people lead productive and fulfilling lives. 
References
Bandura, A. (1986). Social foundations of thought and action: A social cognitive theory. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall.
Dweck, C. S. (1975). The role of expectations and attributions in the alleviation of learned helplessness. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 31, 674-685.
Rathvon, N. (1996). The unmotivated child: Helping your underachiever become a successful student. New York: Simon and Schuster.
Vygotsky. L. S. (1962). Thought and language. Cambridge: Massachusetts Institute of Technology. (Original work published 1939)
Wigfield, A. (1994). The role of children's achievement values in the self-regulation of their learning outcomes. In D. H. Schunk & B. J. Zimmerman (Eds.), Self-regulation of learning and performance: Issues and educational applications (pp. 101-124). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum. 
This article is provided as a service of the Davidson Institute for Talent Development, a 501(c)3 nonprofit dedicated to supporting profoundly gifted young people 18 and under. To learn more about the Davidson Institute’s programs, please visitwww.DavidsonGifted.org.

Monday, February 20, 2012

FEBRUARY 20 - 24


The Top 12 Virtues for Teens

“We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have [virtue] because we have acted rightly.”–Aristotle

Virtue is one of those words you and I don’t hear very often in the mainstream vocabulary. Virtue is basically conforming one’s life and conduct to moral or ethical principles. Moreover, virtue means moral excellence, uprightness and goodness.[1]Virtuous people are known for their conduct, character, and life of integrity. A virtuous person seeks after the highest moral qualities to live his or her life by. This is also true about “history makers.” Would you like to be a world changer? If so, what does it take to make a big impact in this world? The first step is to acquire virtue.

The Primary Virtue: Love

Overlooking the faults of others and building influence

“When love is our highest priority we foster respect in our relationships and honoring becomes a way of life.”
Cathy D. Polyak, 2ndGrade Teacher – Las Vegas, Nevada

Virtue #2: Honesty
The ultimate character test

“Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom.”
Thomas Jefferson, Author of the Declaration of Independence,
American Founding Father, and the 3rdPresident of the United States

3rd Virtue: Purity
Staying “green” in a polluted world

“Our culture desires intimacy without responsibility and pleasure without commitment.”
Kris Vallotton, Author of the book Purity

The 4th VirtueDiscipline
Staying on task – while achieving your goals

“Self-discipline is that which truly and essentially raises one man above another.”
Joseph Addison (1672–1719) Politician and Magazine Founder

The 5th VirtueMoney Management
Mastering money so it doesn’t master you

“Wealth may be an excellent thing, for it means power, and it means leisure, it means liberty.”
James Russell Lowell (1819 -1891) – American Poet, Editor and Diplomat

The 6th VirtueGenerosity
The sign of a satisfied heart

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”
Winston Churchill (1874-1965) Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

Virtue # 7: Courage
Standing strong in the midst of fear and doubt

“Courage is fear holding on a minute longer.”
George S. Patton – Four Star General, World War II


The 8th Virtue: Perseverance
Refusing to quit – Expecting to win

“By perseverance the snail reached the ark.”
Charles H. Spurgeon, famous 19thCentury Baptist Preacher


Virtue # 9: Introspection
Finding self through silence and solitude

“Never be afraid to sit awhile and think.”
Lorraine Hansberry (1930-1965) – Author, A Raisin in the Sun


The 10th Virtue: Wisdom
Navigating successfully through life and social situations

“Wisdom is the principal thing. Therefore, get wisdom.”
King Solomon – The Wisest Man of All Time


The 11th Virtue: Foresight
Perceiving and interpreting the immediate future for sound decision-making

“You can observe a lot just by watching.”
Yogi Berra – Played for the New York Yankees & Hall of Fame Baseball Player


The 12th Virtue: Magnanimity
The King of all virtues: self-mastery

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869-1948) – Leader of Freedom


Monday, February 13, 2012

WEEK OF FEBRUARY 13 - 17


How to Raise a Conscientious Teen


Raising a conscientious teen may be the most difficult part of your parenting career. Instilling a sense of responsibility in your teen may have started many years ago, however it is during the teenage years that people begin to be confronted with morality and the consequences of their actions. Here are a few parenting tips to help you raise a responsible and conscientious teen.

 Instructions


1
Set goals for your child, so that when they are attained, they can learn the value of hard work. Set expectations that allow the teen to succeed according to his or her abilities. Always set reasonable and attainable goals. If you want your child to be a pro basketball player and they just can't get to the next level, then its time to explore their other natural abilities.
2
Follow through with rules and consequences, to teach your teen responsibility and the cause and effect of their actions. Most parents find it easy to create punishments, but have trouble following through. The "follow through" is one of the most important parts of parenting. If you don't enforce the consequences of your rules, then your teen will learn that they can get away with breaking them.
3
Have discussions with your teen, instead of lecturing them. To raise a conscientious teen you must raise them to be adults, and lecturing them like children only alienates them. With discussion, negotiation and understanding, you can guide your teen while handling their conflicting needs in an adult manner.
4
Praise good behavior. Many parents only point out bad behavior, believing that a job well done is reward enough. However, you should encourage your teen with as much positive feedback as possible. When you set consequences for bad behavior and praise good behavior, the reward for your teen is getting to do the things they normally enjoy.

Monday, February 6, 2012

WEEK OF FEBRUARY 6 - 10

How to Raise an Empathetic Teen


Teens tend to think of only themselves and are about as un-empathetic as you can get. Still there are ways of having them be more empathetic and understand the plights of others. Raising an empathetic teen can be difficult at times, but it is possible. Read on to find out how.

 Instructions

  •  1   Start by assessing the needs of your teen when it comes to needing to be empathetic. Are they self-centered? Do they think of their friends and family ahead of themselves? Ask yourself these questions to see what you need to work on with your teen.
  • 2Watch the news with your teen to help them understand what the plights of others are like and discuss these issues with your teen. Get them to understand that things are not always rosy in the lives of others and that many throughout the world are not as lucky as they are.
  • 3Have your teen participate in charities, such as donating clothing or giving money to the poor. Have them earn money at home and donate a portion of it to the poor or to those in need. Have them go through their own clothing or hold a small clothing drive among their class and donate that as well.
  • 4Find some volunteer jobs for your teen, perhaps those that the whole family can participate in. Habitat for Humanity or a homeless kitchen is a good place to start. Anything a teen can do to learn empathy for others and see how the other side of the community lives will help her develop a sense of volunteerism and a more meaningful way of living in society.


Friday, January 27, 2012

WEEK OF JANUARY 30 - FEBRUARY 3

Ways to Build Self Esteem

Teens today are under a lot of stress, but there are many ways to build self esteem and confidence. LoveToKnow Teens was privileged to speak with motivational expert Kathleen Hassan, The Teen Confidence Coach, about how to build self esteem to be happy and confident through the teen years.

Interview: Ways to Build Self Esteem

At what age do teens begin to have self-esteem concerns?

Girls and boys as young as 6 or 7 are having issues with self-esteem. Because we live in a global society, kids today are comparing themselves to everyone in the world. Advertisers spend billions of dollars each year to convince kids that they are not good enough without certain products and services - and it's working.

What issues today most affect teens' self-esteem?

Kids today are bombarded with images of the rich and famous. Our society places so much value on these qualities, which creates a false illusion that anything short of that is bad or unwanted. We have lost our way and our kids are caught in the comparison trap without the right tools to dig their way out.
There are so many external pressures on kids today: broken homes, poverty, alcoholic parents, drug abuse, promiscuity, eating disorders, self-injury. It is very easy to become overwhelmed by these challenges and as a result keep our focus on what's wrong. Our greatest challenge is to continually shift our focus back to what is great about our kids today. We need to hold a vision for what's possible and hold up a mirror for them to see their potential. We need to inspire our youth to believe that there is something inside of them superior to any external circumstance.

What external things can teens do to build their self-esteem?

For most teens, starting on the outside is the easiest way to begin to develop the internal stuff. Any time you do something external for yourself such as wearing a nice outfit, getting your nails done, or getting a great new haircut, all of these external actions send a powerful message to your subconscious mind that says "I am worthy and deserving of good things. "One of the most powerful things teens can do to tap into their potential is to hang around with positive people. When you associate with people who have a good attitude, it will have a dramatic effect on your own energetic vibration, which will attract more of the same back to you. Hanging around with kids who like you for you takes all the pressure off trying to be something or someone you're not. "I like the way I feel about me when I'm with you" is a good measuring stick for figuring out who you feel most comfortable with.

 

 

What are some internal ways to build self-esteem?

Our thoughts create our reality and learning how to harness the power of our own minds is the most important thing anyone can achieve in their lifetime. Becoming aware of our thoughts and consciously choosing thoughts that will bring about a desired outcome is the secret of success.
One way to begin to observe our thoughts is through meditation. By quieting the mind and focusing on breathing, we notice how often our minds wander and we can learn how to train our thoughts to return to the breath. It's not how many times the mind wanders, but how many times we can bring our attention back to the breath that builds inner-peace and self-confidence.
Another way to get hold of your thoughts is to analyze the messages you give to yourself. If you find yourself saying something negative, such as "I'm such a loser," consciously tell yourself to stop. Use positive self-talk and replace negative statements with positive affirmations. We teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves.
The greatest hurdle for teens to overcome is to avoid the comparison trap. Stop comparing your insides to someone else's outsides. If someone has something that you wish you had, instead of being jealous, add it to your wish list and say, "That's for me!" When you shift your energy from jealousy to intention, you become a magnet and attract more great things into your life.

Prom season can be especially hard on teens with low self-esteem. What do you suggest?

Set an intention and decide right now that this is going to be a great prom season and the best time of your life so far. An intention is something that you plan to do or achieve. With focused attention and concentrated energy, anything you can dream you can achieve - as long as you believe.
Sounds easy right? Think again. The problem is that most people spend all of their time thinking and focusing on what they don't want.

What can parents do to help teens with self-esteem and personal confidence?

Well-meaning parents only want what's best for their kids. But unfortunately trying to buy self-esteem always backfires and only creates a sense of entitlement rather than empowerment. The result is dependant self-esteem and when we get our sense of self from stuff, it will never be enough. The next step is independent self-esteem and learning to be OK no matter what you've got going on externally. But the ultimate goal is interdependent self-esteem and that is, understanding who you are, what you do well and how what you do well serves the world.Parents can help their teens develop this sense of self by:
·                     Helping them to discover what makes them unique and how they can use their own gifts, skills and talents to benefit others.
·                     Resisting the urge to compare their child to anyone else.
·                     Creating a fail-safe home by co-creating ground rules and consequences so teens are a part of the process and solution.
·                     Practicing unconditional love by saying "there is nothing you can do or say that will make me take my love away."
·                     Helping your child find the lesson in any challenge or perceived failure.

 

Is community involvement such as an after school job or volunteering very valuable for teens' self-esteem?

Absolutely! Any time we have the opportunity to try something new we are stretching ourselves and building our self-confidence muscles. We build self-esteem by taking risks and learning how to trust ourselves and our abilities. Another benefit to after school jobs or community involvement is the opportunity to interact with others, which raises self-esteem to the level of interdependence by seeing how what we do benefits others.

What regular activities can teens become involved in to help their self-esteem?

The word "regular" is the key. Establishing rituals and the daily repetition and practice of success skills will help build the foundation and habits for a lifetime of achievement.

How can teens' self-esteem affect their lives after high school?

Our choices either lead us towards our goals or away from them. Our choices are based on our beliefs and our beliefs are simply thoughts that we've played over and over again and have accepted as our truth. By becoming aware and mindful of our thoughts and working towards self-mastery in harnessing the power of our minds, we can be, do or have anything we want in life.
The earlier we grasp these principals and apply them in our lives, the less we'll have to unlearn later on. When we get stuck in habitual negative patterns of fear, worry and stress the harder it becomes to regain our sense of power and joy.
By planting the seeds of possibility thinking in teens early on we are helping them create a life that they absolutely love. Rather than just accepting whatever comes along, today's teens have the power to manifest abundance, happiness, and well-being and as a result they will have the power to change and heal the world.