FEBRUARY 24 - 28

PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITIES

Nobody ever said that children were easy to raise. They don't come with guidelines or instructions, and they certainly don't come with a "pause" button (I've looked!). What they do come with is a crucial set of physical and emotional needs that must be met. Failure of the parents to meet these specific needs can have wide-ranging and long-lasting negative effects.

The following outline provides eight essential responsibilities that parents must adhere to in order to foster their child's physical and/or emotional well-being:

1. Provide an environment that is SAFE.

       A. Keep your child free from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.
       B. Keep unsafe objects locked up or out of reach of your child.
       C. Get to know your child's caregivers (get references or background   

           checks).
       D. Correct any potential dangers around the house.
       E. Take Safety Precautions: Use smoke and carbon monoxide detectors,

           lock doors at night, always wear seatbelts, etc.

2. Provide your child with BASIC NEEDS.

       A. Water
       B. Plenty of nutritious foods
       C. Shelter
       D. A warm bed with sheets, blankets, and a pillow
       E. Medical care as needed/Medicine when ill
       F. Clothing that is appropriate for the weather conditions
       G. Space (a place where he or she can go to be alone)

3. Provide your child with SELF-ESTEEM NEEDS.

       A. Accept your child's uniqueness and respect his or her individuality.
       B. Encourage (don't push) your child to participate in a club, activity, or

           sport.
       C. Notice and acknowledge your child's achievements and pro-social

           behavior.
       D. Encourage proper hygiene (to look good is to feel good, or so they

           say!).
       E. Set expectations for your child that are realistic and age-

           appropriate.
       F. Use your child's misbehavior as a time to teach, not to criticize or

           ridicule.

4. Teach your child MORALS and VALUES.

       A. Honesty
       B. Respect
       C. Responsibility
       D. Compassion
       E. Patience
       F. Forgiveness
       G. Generosity

5. Develop MUTUAL RESPECT with your child.

       A. Use respectful language
       B. Respect his or her feelings
       C. Respect his or her opinions
       D. Respect his or her privacy
       E. Respect his or her individuality

6. Provide DISCIPLINE which is effective and appropriate.

       A. Structured
       B. Consistent
       C. Predictable
       D. Fair

7. Involve yourself in your child's EDUCATION.

       A. Communicate regularly with your child's teacher(s)
       B. Make sure that your child is completing his or her homework each

           night.
       C. Assist your child with his or her homework, but don't DO the

           homework.
       D. Talk to your child each day about school (what is being studied, any

            interesting events, etc.).
       E. Recognize and acknowledge your child's academic achievements.

8. Get to KNOW YOUR CHILD.

       A. Spend quality time together.
       B. Be approachable to your child.
       C. Ask questions.
       D. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.

Now that we've looked at the responsibilities parents HAVE, let's look at what responsibilities parents do NOT have. THE FOLLOWING IS A LIST OF RESPONSIBILITIES THAT NO PARENT SHOULD BE EXPECTED TO MEET.

1. Supplying your child with the most expensive designer clothes or shoes available.
2. Picking up after your child/Cleaning your child's room.
3. Dropping everything you're doing to give your child a ride somewhere.
4. Providing your child with a telephone, television, computer, or game system.
5. Bailing your child out of trouble every time he or she does something wrong.
6. Maintaining an unlimited supply of treats, chips, sodas, or junk foods for your  

    child's unlimited consumption.
7. Replacing toys or other items that your child has lost or misplaced.
8. Welcoming any or all of your child's friends into your home for social or other activities.

Chris Theisen is the creator of The Parent Coach Plan, a simple and easy-to-use in-home discipline program that provides parents with the information and tools that are needed to establish effective discipline. Use this program to develop a firm, fair, consistent, and structured discipline regimen in your home.

Taken from: http://www.parentcoachplan.com/article3.php#.UwtIMNJDuSo

FEBRUARY 17 - 21

Teens, Sleep and School

by Gisele Glosser

Research has shown that teenagers don't get enough sleep at night and go to school tired. Some experts believe the cause is biological. Others believe that teenagers stay up late because of adolescent distractions. Early high school start times can also contribute to teens' tiredness. This article will explore possible causes and solutions to this problem.

Research shows that teens need eight to nine hours of sleep at night, as compared with eight hours needed for adults. However, they are not getting enough sleep. A recent study at Drexel University of students aged 12 to 18 found that "20 percent of those studied got the recommended eight or more hours of sleep during school nights with the rest getting less than eight hours. The average sleep for U.S. adolescents is seven hours..." [1] A study of Rhode Island teenagers found that "85 percent were chronically sleep-deprived and accumulated a minimum 10-hour sleep deficit during the week. Forty percent went to bed after 11 p.m.; 26 percent said they usually got less than 6.5 hours on school nights." [2] Thus, sleep deprivation in teens is causing a growing concern among researchers, educators and parents.

So why aren't teens getting enough sleep? For one thing, they are staying up late. A variety of things can contribute to this night-owl tendency among teens, including social life, caffeinated drinks, electronic media such as computers, TVs and cell phones. Other factors include procrastinating on homework, and even depression. Adolescent work schedules are also a concern. Teens who work more than 15 hours a week at a job have less time for sleep.

Sleep deprivation in teens may have biological causes. Some experts believe that teens' body clocks start later. Tests by a professor at Oxford suggest that "students perform better in the afternoon, because their body clock is programmed about two hours later, possibly for hormonal reasons." [3]

Some experts believe that biological changes in teens affect their ability to sleep. A recent study found that "biological changes that take place in puberty keep kids from being able to fall asleep as early as when they were younger." [2] Another study "measured the presence of the sleep-promoting hormone melatonin in teenagers' saliva at different times of the day." They learned that "the melatonin levels rise later at night than they do in children and adults -- and remain at a higher level later in the morning." [4]

Lack of sleep affects teens' ability to function at school. A recent study showed that "sleep deprivation can affect mood, performance, attention, learning, behavior and biological functions." [4] In less clinical terms, "Daytime sleepiness makes it difficult to concentrate and learn, or even stay awake in class. Too little sleep may contribute to mood swings and behavioral problems. And sleepy teens who get behind the wheel may cause serious — even deadly — accidents." [5]

The typical start time for most high schools is 7:00 am, which can exacerbate this problem. Some schools have experimented with later start times. The study at Oxford found that "By delaying the start of school by one hour, and moving more demanding subjects to later in the day, then absenteeism and depression will fall... But that does not mean young people should be indulged and allowed to stay in bed late." [6] Researchers at Norwalk Hospital's Sleep Disorders Center in Connecticut found that "Teens whose high schools have a delayed start time sleep longer and report less daytime sleepiness." [7]

One solution is for parents to impose earlier bedtimes on their teenagers. A recent study found that "Teens whose parents pack them off to bed at 10 p.m. are less apt to become depressed or have suicidal thoughts than their peers who stay up much later." [8] It should be noted that there is a big difference between having suicidal thoughts and being suicidal. In any event, parents can strive to get their teens less wired at night. This can be achieved by discouraging them from drinking caffeine past 12 noon, and by keeping TVs, computers, and especially cell phones out of their room at night.

Other suggestions include: [5], [2] ·         Encourage a short nap (30 minutes) after school with the alarm clock set. ·         Encourage a regular bedtime routine to help them unwind. ·         Dim the lights as bedtime approaches. ·         Encourage your teen to go to bed and get up at the same time every school day. ·         Cut out late-night phone chats. ·         Avoid arguing with your teen just before bedtime. ·         Pull open the curtains and let the sun shine in, or turn on the bright lights in the morning. ·         Help kids understand that they need more sleep because of changes in their bodies. ·         Let them sleep in on the weekend, but no more than 2 or 3 hours later than their usual time, or it will disrupt their body clock. Some parents may find it difficult to take these suggestions without imposing more rules on their teens' daily life. Discussing the importance of sleep with teens will make it easier. Since all teens are not the same, parents should use their parenting experience to best help their teens with sleep.

In summary, teenagers are not getting enough sleep on school nights. Sleep deprivation in teens is prevalent enough to cause a growing concern among researchers, educators and parents. Research has shown that lack of sleep affects teens' ability to function at school. Sleep deprivation in teens may have biological causes according to some studies. Teens and their parents should take responsibility for the fact that teens need eight to nine hours of sleep to function at school. Parents can discuss the need for sleep with their teens, and try the suggestions outlined above.

References: [1] Caffeine-Drinking Teens Don’t Get Enough Sleep [Source: ScienceDaily] [2] Wake Up, Sleepy Teens! [Source: parent-teen.com] [3] Why do teenagers sleep late? [Source: BBC News] see [6] [4] Schools Waking Up to Teens' Unique Sleep Needs [Source: The Washington Post] [5] Teen sleep: Why is your teen so tired? [Source: CNN.com from MayClinic.com] [6] Why do teenagers sleep late? [Source: BBC News] see [3] [7] Teens Sleep Longer With Delayed School Starts [Source: US News and World Report] [8] Early Bedtime May Help Stave Off Teen Depression [Source: US News and World Report]

Taken from: http://www.mathgoodies.com/articles/teens_sleep.html

FEBRUARY 10 - 14

7 Ways to Help Children Develop Self Discipline

One of the primary tasks of early childhood is to develop self discipline. Parents often find themselves correcting their children for interrupting, being wild, not following instructions or for not controlling their hands or mouths. These all require self discipline or self-control. Young children are by nature impulsive. Some children have ADHD or other biological factors which increase impulsiveness. Part of the solution for impulse control is to learn self discipline. A child armed with self discipline has a tremendous asset for addressing life's challenges. So many relational and personal problems can be avoided or controlled when one has self-control. Here are some suggestions for teaching it to children.

1. Teach children to come when they are called. When a parent calls a child, that child shouldn't yell, "What?" from across the house, parking lot or playground. Children can learn to come to the parent, within a few feet, in order to have a dialog with the parent. This helps children learn that self-control sometimes means that we must give up what we would like to be doing in order to do something else.

2. Teach children to respond positively to correction. Most children don't like to be corrected and respond negatively in either aggressive (anger) or passive (bad attitude) ways. This is unacceptable and becomes an excellent opportunity to teach self discipline. One of the facts of life is that people often must follow directions which may not be their preference. Teach children to respond with a good attitude as well as right behavior. This requires self-control and helps children learn to control their impulses. A good response to correction is sometimes difficult to learn but work in this area will help a child develop a skill which will help them forever.

3. A number of social skills require self-control. Praise children when they demonstrate this quality and point out areas they need to work on. Listening, knowing when and how to interrupt, anger control, reporting back after completing a task all require self discipline.

4. Encourage children to take on activities which build self discipline. They may include sports, music lessons, a paper route, the responsibility of caring for a neighbor's pet, memorization of scripture, a clean room, or a host of other activities.

5. When a child receives a reward like payment for a job accomplished or even a star on a chart or special treat, talk about self discipline. External rewards give a great opportunity to talk about internal rewards. The real benefit to a paper route is not the money, it's the building of self discipline. "You are pretty determined and responsible to get up every morning." "I know you would have rather played the game but I like the way you took time to walk the dog. That shows self discipline."

6. Use bed times to teach self discipline. Some children have a hard time going to bed without creating a battle and this becomes a great opportunity to teach self discipline to children. After all, it requires a lot of self-control for a child to stay quietly in bed while parents are still awake. Set a bedtime, develop a routine which covers all the necessary bedtime tasks and work at getting your child to stay in bed without Mom or Dad falling asleep in the room. This requires work on the part of the parent but will pay off tremendous dividends in the end.

7. Morning routines, chores, and family schedules become opportunities for children to learn responsibility and self discipline. Responsibility is "doing the right thing even when no one is watching." The rewards for being responsible are called privileges. The child who is responsible to get ready and be at breakfast by 7:30 a.m. is allowed the privilege of staying up until their 8:00 p.m. bedtime. Being able to choose one's clothes is the privilege for getting dressed before the deadline. Simple benefits of life are seen as privileges associated with basic responsibility.

Some parents try to give their children an easier life than they had or they try to make their children feel good at the expense of good character. Unfortunately, this often translates into more freedom and less self-control. A wise parent will use childhood to prepare a child for success as an adult. Self discipline is one of the most important character qualities a child can develop. Ironically, spoiled children are not happy; self disciplined children often are!

Self discipline is a primary quality that will help children be successful in life. More techniques and ideas are available in the book, Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids.

 Used with permission from Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller.

 © 2007 iMom. All rights reserved.

Taken from: http://www.imom.com/parenting/teens/parenting/training/7-ways-to-help-children-develop-self-discipline/