NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS FOR HIGH SCHOOL PARENTS – AND
THEIR COLLEGE BOUND STUDENTS
New Year’s is often a time of new
beginnings. For parents of high school students who may be headed off to
college in the fall, this year will bring significant changes. You may, or
may not, be prepared for those changes, but you know that they are still
several months away. We’d like to offer some New Year’s resolutions to
help you, and your college bound high school student, begin to prepare
now. We hope that you find them helpful – and that you pass some of these
on to your student.
For high school
parents
1) Resolve that
your student’s college choice, or the application process, or acceptance
letters, will not be the first thing you talk about when you meet other parents.
2) Resolve that
you will not ask your student what she has decided to major in. Try to steer others away from asking
her as well. Encourage her to keep an open mind.
3) Resolve to
begin practicing some important communication skills with your high school student. Remember
that your role in his life will be changing next year. Try to listen
more, keep open and honest lines of communication going. It won’t happen
automatically next year if you’re not building the foundation this year.
4) Resolve to
keep the college process in perspective. Getting into college – and deciding where to go to school
– is important, but it is only one part of your student’s life this year.
Remember that where your student goes to school is less important that what she does when she gets there. She will
create her success wherever she ends up.
5) Resolve to
model de-stressing about the college decision process for your student. Try to relax –
especially while waiting for acceptance letters.
6) Resolve to
let your student make the final college choice. Remember that your student is the one going
off to college. He will be better able to adapt to difficult times if he
is the one who made the final choice of college.
7) Resolve to
read at least one book about the “letting go” process.
8) Resolve to
accept the natural tendency of teenagers to begin the distancing process. Use this year as a time to begin to
step back.
9) Resolve to
begin the “letting go” process now. Buy your student a good alarm clock and don’t wake him
up in the morning. Make sure she knows how to do her own laundry.
Encourage him to be responsible for his own finances.
10) Resolve to remember that the college
transition process happens to both your student and to you. Remember that you will be undergoing
changes as well. Don’t forget to nurture yourself.
For high school
students
1) Resolve that
you will not let your guard down this spring and become a victim of senioritis. Remember that colleges will look at
your final grades.
2) Resolve that
once your applications are in you will relax and try not to
worry about admissions.
Focus on senior year and enjoying this time before you need to make a final
decision.
3) Resolve to
find somewhere to invest the energy and time you have now that the college
application process is completed. Take up a new hobby. Do some community service.
4) Resolve to
spend some time this spring investigating scholarships. There are many hidden ones
available. Keep searching online and checking with your guidance office.
5) Resolve to
meet all spring deadlines.
File the FAFSA early. Watch scholarship deadlines. Make your
college deposit and housing deposits on time.
6) Resolve to
spend some time thinking about your life goals. You don’t need answers, and you
certainly don’t need to plan your life, but think about your goals for college.
Don’t just see it as a next step without knowing where you want it to take you
and how you want to spend the next four years.
7) Resolve to
talk to your parents. Remember they
are nervous about you starting college too. Work at keeping lines of
communication open. Let them know what you are thinking. Listen to
some of their advice – whether or not you plan to take it.
8) Resolve to
keep an open mind about where you go to school. What you do at college is going to be much more
important than where you go to school. Remember that the final decision will
need to be your decision, based on your feelings and goals. Don’t choose
a school because someone else tells you that you should – or because someone
you know is going there.
9) Resolve to
begin to take on more responsibility in your life in preparation for being on
your own next year. Prove to
yourself and to your parents that you can be responsible and independent.
Get yourself up in the morning, budget your money, clean up after yourself,
keep your curfews and behave responsibly. Your parents will be more
comfortable about you heading off next year.
10) Resolve to take some time to thank
all of the people who helped you get where you are. Think about family members, friends,
teachers, counselors, and others who may have gone out of their way to help
you. Take time to let them know that you appreciate it.
This is a big year ahead for high school
seniors and their parents. Start now to think about what you can do to
make the transition to college a smooth and successful one.
Happy New Year!
